"'Truth is strange," you know, "stranger than fiction' - besides being more to the point" - Edgar Allan Poe

June 27, 2007

in chains

June 22, 2007

Someone in this room... is a MURDERER!

A dramatic chipmunk. (youtube)

June 21, 2007


Landing back home on the 5th. Yippee!

June 13, 2007

more randomness


napkin scribble-

Lately I've been noticing Convenience in close conversation with SelfRighteousness. And after staring for many hours, I was unable to tell which was which, and who was who.

Perhaps they should meet the twins, Futility and Pointlessness, and compare notes.

June 12, 2007

A letter to every bully you and I have ever met

[kinda random, but I had fun writing it :) ]
[it's marked FICTION, so please, don't be a douche and be all judgmental]

I could take you on, you know.

So I'm skinny. I'm not short, but a lifetime of slouching takes off makes me look 5 inches shorter.
My arms are sticks.

I think I'm mildly calcium deficient, so the bones aren't so strong. Heck, the enamel on my teeth is below average, that's why it hurts my gums when I eat ice cream.

But I could still take you on.

This is the worst that you could do to me- You could kill me. But I know you won't, because bullies like you want to see their victims suffer. Maybe not, but I'm still sure.

Mistake 1: you assume I'm a victim, and am giving up. BZZZZT, wrong!

So you're going to hurt me, probably break a few bones? My friend, fuck you, that's nothing a couple of weeks of alcohol and nurses can't fix.

[nurses, sigh. but anyway]

perhaps you're going to call me names. Go right ahead, knock yourself out.

Mistakes 2,3,4: you think I'm scared, mentally weak, and give a rat's ass.

[And for all I know, you might actually like rodent behinds.]

Mistake 5: you think it ends after you beat me.

Let's begin by telling you that you're not walking away from me unscathed. I will definitely be kicking you in your balls, and landing my heel on your kneecap HARD. The base of my palm will push some amount of your nose in, and what cartilage doesn't kill you, will hurt like hell. A swinging elbow to your ear stings like a bitch, and before you know it, atleast one of your eyes is in danger of becoming gelatinous pulp.

Stupidly enough, people around the 2 of us will be cheering ME on at this point of time.

Sure, you'll win in the end, but while I might be lying all curled up all dirtied with dirt and blood, I'm quite certain you're going to limp away.

Now, excuse me while I laugh a bit before I continue. HAHAHAHA. Right. Why do I laugh?
Because it's not over, bitch!

You have a history, you have a present, and you have a fucking week ahead of you I can assure you will not be fucking peaceful.

You have fists. I have brains, friends, and a geek aptitude for dealing with pieces of shit.

You wake up, get ready to head for office/college/whatever it is you do when the hse becomes too smelly... and you notice your bike mirrors are missing. As are a few screws. and rubber piping. and the seats, and...
you don't want to know what I put into your exhaust. I only suggest you get yourself lots of disinfectant back home.

How could have this happened? Especially with the security guard around?
You have fists. I have a software programmer's salary, which I don't spend on shiny hair.

Your girlfriend refuses to pick up calls. And man, I have to tell you, fucking with your love life was the most fun part of last evening. Fun fun FUN! Don't even bother, not only is she pissed with you, she's also scared of you and won't be able to see your bare chest again without being really disgusted. Fun fun FUN!!!

Pay the overpriced auto, and get to wherever you're going. Might as well get this day over with. Especially when you realize your friends aren't picking up your calls either. They heard about the "incident" with the vacuum cleaner, bitch! And how do I know?

You have fists. I've got access to your secrets, ridiculously badly hidden as they are. Your mom just LOVES talking about you and how she's so proud of you, did you know that?

Fun fun FUN!

Please, don't walk along the main road. My buds are riding around with those tiny 40 rupee cans of paint. I'd rather use that to repaint my wii, wouldn't want to waste it on you.

Oh, so you don't have a bike, you only have a car?
Do you know that you cam insure every part of the car... except for the windshield? Seriously, go look it up. And fixing the beading itself should take a bout a couple of grand.
You got fists, I got sticks and stealth.

Ok, so we got you a bad morning. And you don't even know what we dumped into your water tank. Whatever.
Revenge, my friend, is best when it's agonizingly long, stretched out, and oohboy fun fun FUN!

A piece of advice - avoid open windows and cushioned chairs.

You have fists. I have time on my hands.

Your boss is going to complain. Your folks are going to complain. Your friends are dying laughing behind your back. You're noticing you're missing money. Lots. Your balls still hurt, and the swelling in your eye isn't going away.

So you come up to me to make peace. And to beg forgiveness. And you fold your hands and say, "please, if you have mercy, just let me be", or some such shit.

At this point I reap the investment I made in my authentic ninja shuriken. Fun fun FUN!


June 07, 2007

SuperCon '07 collage (aka OneThousandWords)

Big photo. Zoom in to see detail.

June 04, 2007

At San Jose SuperCon '07, my first ever comic book convention, I got...

  • - 5 pieces of art, all from Industriacide, by Sean Dietrich, my new favourite artist/writer. Dark dark stuff. Here's a link to one of the pieces I bought.
  • - 6 prints, one sketch book with a sketch on the last page, 2 full page sketches by Emonic/ Emo Gonzales. Such an awesome dude, great stuff. Of course, all signed. The Brothers Gonzales are coming out with a book in a few months and of course I want it so bad :)
  • - A major chunk of the RorschaschEntertainment catalogue (included Dietrich's Industriacide, Fervor, Mess, his sketch book, but somehow missed Catalepsy. Godammit) Writing to him to ask for it. And of course, all signed copies :)
  • - Neil Gaiman's 1602 complete run.
  • - Alan Moore's SMAX, full run.
  • - Ted McKeever's Industrial Gothic, full run.
  • - Kyle Baker's Plastic Man 1-6.
  • - Eric Powell's Goon TPB, signed, from the ComicBookLegalDefenseFund.
  • - Frank Miller's CBLDF tshirt (be awed, I command you).
  • - Captain A-Hole by Mike Hampton. Not very good production. But also got a "I love hot zombie hot chicks" tshirt from him, which is pretty awesome.
  • - All Star Batman and Robin 1-5. Miller's going mad.
  • - Pearl Jam Winnipeg Summerfest '93 bootleg DVD.
And I also got John Dolmayan, the drummer of System Of A Down to sign my mp3man. SO AWESOME. I'm sure it'll fade off after a while, but hey, cool while it lasts :) Hopefully will stay in one piece till I hit Hyd and can show off. Now why was Dolmayan at a comic convention? One look at his drumkit should answer that. (Artist details in this pic) I'll give details and my own pics later.

Way too much money, I know. But for once I can afford, so shut up.

Pics of loot soon.

June 03, 2007

on gtalk recently

byker: pi?
will you please drink some piss cheap beer, scratch yourself in public, or go shoot innocent living things?
oh, or eat some really rare steak
you have gotten a little too in touch with your feminine side boy
what the fuck are they doing to you over there?
you're posting pap now
sheer, unadulterated pap
you're going to come back and give me lectures about embracing diversity
i just know it
and you are going to ask me to stock a bottle of chardonnay, while you amble about in a fucking turtleneck
wtf does princess di have to do with tourism, pray tell, other than advertise the fact that the french are fucked up drivers?
this is john travolta, from his disco days
not cool
not cool
if it had been from get shorty, or pulp fic, i'd understand
if there isn't any gratuitous sex or violence in one of your posts soon, i'm washing my hands cleaner than pilate
i'll have the sad duty of calling manipal and saying... "i knew him when..."
you haven't even cussed once during this tirade of mine

[edited for brevity]