"'Truth is strange," you know, "stranger than fiction' - besides being more to the point" - Edgar Allan Poe

December 29, 2006

mixtape

Here are a bunch of songs you might like. Genres shift from grunge/alt/psych rock to metal to lounge, techno, and then some 80's pop. Basically stuff that I discovered (or rediscovered) in the past few months.

Machinehead (Bush), I dare you to move (Switchfoot), Angel Eyes (Jerry Cantrell), Mystical Machine Gun (Kula Shaker), Summer's Rain (Savatage), Aerials (System of a Down), Afternoon Sister (Air), Trip Like I do (Filter/Crystal Method), Invisible touch (Genesis), Toy Soldiers (Martika).

Have fun.

December 28, 2006

All I wanna do, is have some fun

I've got a feeling, I'm not the only one.

December 22, 2006

Victim #439

I strike again.

...the system

Marathi for "only" is "fucktha".

Pronounced "Fuck-The".

May the puns begin.

December 21, 2006

Because it's that kind of day...

Consider.

The stalwart public inspector has managed to twice thwart the evil Afghan drug smugglers plans to get white powder into the country.
Afghan Smuggler be pissed. Much.

The Smuggler hears that inspector's to-be in-laws are coming in from Kabul. He decides to kidnap them and hold them for ransom. Does so. Makes demands that inspector come alone to pick them up so that they can settle scores.

Inspector shows up. So far, so good.

The inlaws are all tied up. The inspector shows up with the 'maal'.

But the smuggler, as any smuggler worth his salt would do, decides to mess with the guy. A standard scuffle ensues, where suddenly 2 rifle-toting chicks show up, one of who is the inspector's "to-be" bride. Fiance, w/e.

The scene - Inspector's holding smuggler by the neck, gun pointed at head, already made all his cronies drop their guns and all. Dialogue -

"Pasha, [that's the smuggler's name], do you remember Badshah Khan, the man you betrayed all thsoe years ago?"

"Er, yeah, sure I do. Got him locked up in jail for messing with the dood that is me".

"Well then, listen. My inlaws that you've captured, do you know who they are? Look closely! That lady is nobody else but Badshah Khan's wife, who has gone mad ever since her husband was locked up for life and she figured he's never coming back! And that man, he's Badshah Khan's best friend Khudah Baksh, who's sacrificed his life trying to take care of his best friend's wife. And these women who've come with me! My fiance Mehndi, she's Badshah Khan's daughter, who only days ago realized that her father is still alive and had to sacrifice his life of any meaning in order to save his rakhi sister's reputation. And the other girl, she's the daughter of the policeman, Badshah Khan's best friend in jail, that you had killed by your corrupt police officer friend! And me, I'm the son of that same corrupt police officer, who's lived his life thinking he got killed on duty, while in reality was killed by my own mother when he tried to kill Badshah Khan while simulataneously harassing her! Badshah Khan took the murder upon his own head [sic] and lived so many years in jail, and sacrificed his won life!"

At this point of time, Beatzo and myself burst into laughter, imagining the mindfuck information overload that Pasha is going through. Beatzo was imagining Pasha would go mad screaming "OMG mudderfucchers this is way too much shit happening at much! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!"

KhudahGawah has one seriously hilarious climax :D

Bonus - So Badshah Khan (Amitabh Bachchan, if you'll remember) shows up as well, major fightaction scene happens, and they beat the baddies with pistols, rifles, and a tiger striped bazooka launcher.
No, seriously, a bazooka.

So during the final moments of the film, finally when Bachchan reunites with Sridevi after so many years, the supporting cast starts shooting their weapons in the air, like pathans and rajputs apparently do to celebrate, or some such thing.

Sridevi (double role, his daughter) is firing a rifle into the air.
Shilpa Shirodkar too.
Danny Denzongpa (Khudah Baksh) is firing a pistol into the air.

And Nagarjuna (the inspector).
Nagarjuna.

The uber smart police inspector.

Fires a bazooka into the air.
Straight up.


AHAHAHAHAHAHA! Run fuckers, run!

December 18, 2006

AReallyLongWeekendRoundUp - Preview


[which doubles up as a really cool coke ad]

December 15, 2006

Episode 16


Programmer stickman from the wonderful super webcomic xkcd.com.
[please don't sue me]

December 13, 2006

BoremMarem, World

From a shack in Goa

December 11, 2006

Blogger Beta wishlist

  1. Inline comments/ commenting straight from the comments subpage like Wordpress. Status - Currently not possible.
  2. Threaded comments like live journal. I've figured out how to do this with GoogleBase, but I still need the inline comments to work for that :( So status - Currently not possible.
  3. DeviantART Categories style version of the archives dropdown tree. Status- Possible, and working on it. Should be up by the weekend :) It's quite cool, if I should say so myself.
  4. Random header image. Status- Very easy, will include it when I include the third one as well.
  5. Peekaboo style navbar. Status- Very easy. Again, weekend.
  6. A sitemap for the blog. Not really important, and I can't see any actual usage for it, but it'd be nice to know I can :)
  7. Ability to add 'pages' instead of just posts. For example, an about page with my profile, a link page, etc etc. I think wordpress and textpattern let you do this. Again, not really difficult to implement, but it'd clutter up my page code. It'd be nice to know I could make separate pages instead.
  8. A giant black hole that draws people towards my blog, whether they want to or not :P

Dammit!

The old comments style system is not possible. I can't give you an inline comments form. Sorry :(

Here's why (for the tech inclined)

December 10, 2006

The Bullet and the B-school

http://www.royalenfield.com/app/IN/trip.asp?sID=4313

- By Byker.

Man, I look like shit!

Have you noticed that too many people are using the word 'literally' without knowing what it means, and in completely inappropriate contexts.

Somebody has a bad exam and they go "Man, I was literally screwed!"

Tch tch. What this means is that they just had sex (or they got penetrated, to put it bluntly).

[Ooh, a crass unintended pun. Hehe.]

Literally means that you're supposed to take the actual meaning of what is being said. Understand?

The actual word that you'd look for in the previous example is 'figuratively'.

ie, "I figuratively got screwed".

Which sounds like crap, so you might as well be succinct and just say you got screwed. Let the context explain it by itself.

Perhaps an example of proper usage of the word is required.

I look like shit, literally!
Click here to understand what I mean.

December 08, 2006

Where art thou, Vishal?


Have you guys ever been to www.VishalPatel.com ? It's hilarious, and it's been up for a while. Go through all the articles there.

But that's not the point of this post. You see, I've died trying to contact this guy, trying to find out if he's alive, and so on, just so I can thank him for the laffs.

It's been over a year since I've tried (since July 2005, when I first posted about him)I've been very unsuccessful so far.

I first tried the email address on the site (mail@vishalpatel.com), but the mail bounced back immediately. Recently, I ran a whois search on his domain, and got some details. The phone number listed doesn't seem to be operational though, and the email id there bounced as well. Dammit.

So I have one last option. The postal address listed. Tomorrow morning, am posting a letter to him, and hoping that it reaches him, and he replies (am including my email address and phone number in it, just in case). I REALLY REALLY hope he responds. I just want to say thanks :S Wish me luck.

So you think I'm obsessed? You don't even want to know what I've been doing to find out where Malini Sharma has disappeared :P

PS- As a bonus, here's a list of ALL the taglines that keep showing up in the topleft corner of Vishal's page (everytime you refresh). Oh, the things I do for you :P

"messing with your head since 1693"
"don't try this at home"
"fortified with vitamins and iron"
"this tagline keeps changing"
"dammit sabu! that planet is not jupiter"
"ticketless travel is social evil"
"keptenn! keptenn! the wingons are wattacking!"
"it's not what you're thinking"
"jackdaws love my big sphinx of quartz"
"the mirror also stares back"
"never shooting at any human or animal"
"twist his waist and he swings back with a power punch"
"whoever says, he is only"
"i'm not using my fingers to type this"
"angst in your pangst"
"weapons of mass-distraction"
"the first one's free"
"in pin safteypin, in pin... owch!"
"oh yes baby mmm that's nice"
"for smart, healthy hair & fresh, glowing skin"
"child in arm requires full ticket"
"cleanliness is next to godliness"
"made fom 100% ayurvedic herbs and roots"
"a perfect illusion"
"schrödinger killed the cat"
"all hail arch-groovy fancypants xxvii"
"quick, look behind you!"
"you too can have a body like mine"
"allow four to eight weeks for delivery"
"four legs good, two legs bad"
"second to the right, and straight on till morning"
"where the devil are my slippers??"
"meanwhile, back in metropolis..."
"it's been about an hour since an hour ago"
"it's the end of the world as we know it"
"gîl síla erin lû govaded mín"
"now with amazing x-ray vision!"
"to stop train pull chain"
"here comes the sun doo doo doo doo"
"by appointment to her majesty the queen"
"recommended by 9 out of 10 dentists"
"a low-calorie alternative to organised religion"
"uncertain electrons in probability clouds"
"keeps you feeling fresh all day long"
"dead ant, dead ant... dead ant, dead ant, dead ant"
"now in special vacuum-seal pack!"
"75% more effective than aromatherapy"
"it only seems kinky the first time"

FetusX

Go read this. The creator's doing art on Ellis' next series "Rocket Pirates". And anyone with the W-man's seal of approval is good in my books, surely.

December 06, 2006

South Park Characters... by YOU and ME!


Thanks to Mommy. This is the coolest thing I've seen all day. You can make your own south park character! FUCKING AWESOME!


Go here and make your own!

Hey, this blog template will be undergoing some serious rewriting for the next few days, and I expect more than one thing to keep breaking. Sorry. Should be back to normal by the end of the week. I think I've figured out the commenting issue too, so wish me luck.

.

So last night someone looks me in the eye and says "I hear Scorpios won't answer irritating irrelevant questions. Is this true?"

I couldn't help laughing back in her face :P

[scribbled on a domino's pizza receipt at 2 in the morning]

Ironically, I find myself not believing in trust anymore. Yeah, it might be fantastical, or as some might consider, "faith", but more because it has to do with people, and people are an unpredictable bunch. The same goes to emotion, promises, love, even short gestures like offering to pick up the paper on the way home. What I do believe, is paying the rent. Not much more. I like systems, institutions, rules, and behavior, mostly because they can't back and bite you on the ass when you don't expect it.

Of course, all this means I'm fuckin' bored. Go figure.

-------------------------------------------------------


For your entertainment (and mine!), I present... a phallic ketchup bottle! (among other photos)

ego-bashing

I realize that all the opinions I have, all the statements I make, all the people I hate and dislike, all the judgments I pass, all the rants I pander, and so on, don't amount to shit; because nobody cares, it's just a blog, and frankly, I'm not someone considered responsible, not really accountable even to myself, and I'm dangerous if taken seriously.

Phew, thank God for that.

December 05, 2006

Firebug 1.0 beta released

Firebug 1.0 (beta) for firefox is out today. And it's the most amazing web development tool I've ever seen. 10 minutes into checking out the beta and I'm orgasming in javascript glory. Just when I thought this product couldn't get better, it's taken a few gigantic leaps and bounds for this release. Go see new features and drool.

December 04, 2006

I'm such a goon :P

A happy one, from the look of it.

December 03, 2006

"... it's how stiff the drink is"

Blue Waters, Manipal, earlier this year.

December 02, 2006

.

This could've been a longer post, but let's just talk highlights.
I got teargassed accidentally by the cops in Mulky. Goddamn pissing off chemical it is.
Knee's still being a bitch.
Heading for Goa in the morning (missed it today because of the stupid communal riots, w/e)

Where's a nice status quo when you need one?