"'Truth is strange," you know, "stranger than fiction' - besides being more to the point" - Edgar Allan Poe

October 31, 2006

as long as you're bored...

  1. Go to orkut.com, click on search
  2. Click on users, then on change filters
  3. Gender - female, Location- India, Relationship status - single, Interested in - dating men.
  4. In the search field, type 'blogspot'. Click 'Search'.
  5. Visit the blogs of single, Indian women who want to date men thru' orkut.
  6. Understand exactly why I'm losing faith in humanity.

As a side note, typing 'livejournal' instead of 'blogspot' returns no entries. Interpret that as you may.

The seven dirty words are recognized by Firefox' new spell check. Interpret THAT as you may.

October 30, 2006

Don't you be going judging me and all, I'm sure you've done worse before. Yes, I am SURE.

If there're any women here, I'd like some help with this. You know how losers on orkut (*cough*) are always bugging you to be their friands (sic) and etc etc, and they obviously come off as losers (*double cough*) and so on? I was wondering, is there a decent letter/scrap that WOULD make you consider being friends with them? Here's what I have so far. (Adjust according to context)

I'd like to be your friend.
I think you're interesting, kinda nice, and I'm hoping you might like talking with me too. I apologize if this is coming off as creepy, but seriously, what better option would I have?
My name's *** and I'm a/an *** in ***. I was reading your blog/ reading your scraps/ saw you on a friend's blog/scrapbook / saw your photos and you seem really nice, in what little way the internet allows.
So yeah, you seem nice.

I'm just saying hello.

It would work, no?

[DISCLAIMER: No, fuckwads, I do NOT want to make friandship with anybody. I'm just curious.]

[this guy who's doing his exchange program at IIMB was down this weekend to hyderabad and...]

[aka micro- weekendroundup]

"So you're from NITK?"

"I've seen guys from there at IIMB."

"Really. They wear the tshirts and everything."


They're bastards, aren't they?

"Yeah :S"
Is ok. Trust me, I know. Some of them are friends.



"Saalon mein bahut ghamand hai yaar, unka problem kya hai?!"


They say you can't rhyme with 'o-range',
Being Indian, I find that quite stee-range.

[In response to this wikipedia article.]

October 27, 2006

Test post

Just trying to see if I can do something.

You know how livejournal junta have that lj-cut thingie, where they can click and see the rest of the text that's hidden. I don't like that approach *that* much, because really, all that link does is take you to a new page.

I wonder if I can javascript a better implementation on blogspot.
[if this doesn't work, boohoo, some other time]

Click HERE.

October 26, 2006


On atheism...

I like the middle ground - I'm a Jesus fan, its a good book, and there is a lot to learn from it, but beer and sex are just so kickass...

[in the comments section on gapingvoid.com]

October 25, 2006

[random post]

[Testing Performancing for firefox 1.3.]

Yagabaga boo.
Onleeee Yoooo.
My luvvv is trooooo.

Can you feel it, babeeeeeeee
I hope you're ready, cause maybeeeeeeee...
we can all go out and get drunk.
and sunk. don't be a punk.

Onleeee [deep voice] yooooooooooo....


Admit it, that was the most fun software test you ever saw :P

powered by performancing firefox

DilbertSpeak... literally

Scott Adams (Dilbert, etc) has an amazing post up.

(I'm guessing India readers are still unable to access typepad, so I'm going to just reproduce the whole post here, and hope no copyright bullshit hits me.)

Good News Day

As regular readers of my blog know, I lost my voice about 18 months ago. Permanently. It’s something exotic called Spasmodic Dysphonia. Essentially a part of the brain that controls speech just shuts down in some people, usually after you strain your voice during a bout with allergies (in my case) or some other sort of normal laryngitis. It happens to people in my age bracket.

I asked my doctor – a specialist for this condition – how many people have ever gotten better. Answer: zero. While there’s no cure, painful Botox injections through the front of the neck and into the vocal cords can stop the spasms for a few months. That weakens the muscles that otherwise spasm, but your voice is breathy and weak.

The weirdest part of this phenomenon is that speech is processed in different parts of the brain depending on the context. So people with this problem can often sing but they can’t talk. In my case I could do my normal professional speaking to large crowds but I could barely whisper and grunt off stage. And most people with this condition report they have the most trouble talking on the telephone or when there is background noise. I can speak normally alone, but not around others. That makes it sound like a social anxiety problem, but it’s really just a different context, because I could easily sing to those same people.

I stopped getting the Botox shots because although they allowed me to talk for a few weeks, my voice was too weak for public speaking. So at least until the fall speaking season ended, I chose to maximize my onstage voice at the expense of being able to speak in person.

My family and friends have been great. They read my lips as best they can. They lean in to hear the whispers. They guess. They put up with my six tries to say one word. And my personality is completely altered. My normal wittiness becomes slow and deliberate. And often, when it takes effort to speak a word intelligibly, the wrong word comes out because too much of my focus is on the effort of talking instead of the thinking of what to say. So a lot of the things that came out of my mouth frankly made no sense.

To state the obvious, much of life’s pleasure is diminished when you can’t speak. It has been tough.

But have I mentioned I’m an optimist?

Just because no one has ever gotten better from Spasmodic Dysphonia before doesn’t mean I can’t be the first. So every day for months and months I tried new tricks to regain my voice. I visualized speaking correctly and repeatedly told myself I could (affirmations). I used self hypnosis. I used voice therapy exercises. I spoke in higher pitches, or changing pitches. I observed when my voice worked best and when it was worst and looked for patterns. I tried speaking in foreign accents. I tried “singing” some words that were especially hard.

My theory was that the part of my brain responsible for normal speech was still intact, but for some reason had become disconnected from the neural pathways to my vocal cords. (That’s consistent with any expert’s best guess of what’s happening with Spasmodic Dysphonia. It’s somewhat mysterious.) And so I reasoned that there was some way to remap that connection. All I needed to do was find the type of speaking or context most similar – but still different enough – from normal speech that still worked. Once I could speak in that slightly different context, I would continue to close the gap between the different-context speech and normal speech until my neural pathways remapped. Well, that was my theory. But I’m no brain surgeon.

The day before yesterday, while helping on a homework assignment, I noticed I could speak perfectly in rhyme. Rhyme was a context I hadn’t considered. A poem isn’t singing and it isn’t regular talking. But for some reason the context is just different enough from normal speech that my brain handled it fine.

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick.
Jack jumped over the candlestick.

I repeated it dozens of times, partly because I could. It was effortless, even though it was similar to regular speech. I enjoyed repeating it, hearing the sound of my own voice working almost flawlessly. I longed for that sound, and the memory of normal speech. Perhaps the rhyme took me back to my own childhood too. Or maybe it’s just plain catchy. I enjoyed repeating it more than I should have. Then something happened.

My brain remapped.

My speech returned.

Not 100%, but close, like a car starting up on a cold winter night. And so I talked that night. A lot. And all the next day. A few times I felt my voice slipping away, so I repeated the nursery rhyme and tuned it back in. By the following night my voice was almost completely normal.

When I say my brain remapped, that’s the best description I have. During the worst of my voice problems, I would know in advance that I couldn’t get a word out. It was if I could feel the lack of connection between my brain and my vocal cords. But suddenly, yesterday, I felt the connection again. It wasn’t just being able to speak, it was KNOWING how. The knowing returned.

I still don’t know if this is permanent. But I do know that for one day I got to speak normally. And this is one of the happiest days of my life.
Wow. Neat.

Firefox 2.0 released

Firefox 2.0 is here. Am testing it now. Go download, if you want (which you should. Arrr.)

October 23, 2006

An instant from waking life

(random post, because I CAN, Ha!)

Notice the detail in the rotoscoped image.

The Cutout levels are diferent from object to object. The forehead has 5 (so I'm assuming a threshold of 8) and the wall has 3-4, with edge fidelity varying all over the image. It's definitely been retouched manually, so that means that every frame of Waking life must have been retouched, or atleast validated manually.
Notice the deliberate placement of vector art across the frame. The star in the moddle (obviously), the guy's hair (the tufts would've been absorbed otherwise) the definition of the lips, etc.

Manual borders for objects, their polygon simplificaltion algorithms must be really cool to get borders like that AND prevent bleeding across frames. Sure, more manual here, but still...

Anyway, so I'm still dying to watch Scanner Darkly, which *apparently* takes rotoscoping to a new level.

(pic thanks to Andy)


(not much, really)

Bedridden with a fuckall fever, now much better.

Bought the new Evanescence disc, The Open Door, very nice.

Listening to hajar Nepali rock as well (thanks Aunty!)

Other listens - Bruce Springsteen, Nelly Furtado, Sigur Ros (love it), Nitin Sawhney, Genesis, Susheela Raman (orgasm), Lucky Ali, etc etc.

[I'm ripping 4 cds from Chetri's collection every day, and I've been doing this for the past full week. Do the math.]

Job's good. Busy. Still liking it (thank god).

Am promoting self from Javascript n00b to DemiGod.

Am still too embarassed to meet I_ and A_ after being an asshole a week ago. Eh. Story of my life.

Caught myself thinking seriously about hiking across India sometime next year. You're welcome to join me. I'm thinking February. Also thinking about going to Nepal in January. You're not welcome to join me.

Have decided to put "Aerials" on personal Top10 most awesome screamOutAloud songs of all time (this list also includes RATM's 'Guerrila Radio' and Met's 'Hero of the day', in case you wanted to know)

Have found myself subconsciously susbstituting 'ch' for 'k' sounds and 'jh' for 'g' sounds aand vice versa (bastard ketri!)

Still more or less happy.

How was your weekend?

October 20, 2006

Piercing eyes, my ass

Peejay time! New age definition for 'buttmunch' - Something that happens without your knowledge, and is sure to come back years later to bite you on the ass.

Like this. Read all the comments there too. Christ. I didn't know people would be so stupid.
I know I look like a child rapist, so you don't have to remind me.
Ganja says - "you have such an arsefaced look in the pic too".
Like duh. After this photo was taken, I literally ran home for a haircut and a shave. Even the sideburns are gone. Promise.
Why would people even say things like this for such an ugly photo of an ugly person? Am I right everytime I complain the world is filled with douches?

Later. *scowl*

October 19, 2006

7 brides for 7 brothers

The C.A.U.S.E foundation is putting up a stage production of the most awesome retro movie 7 brides for 7 brothers (know to hajar bollywood fans as Satte Pe Satta) . Will hopefully be a great show, do try to make it if you're in Bangalore at the time.

Date - 27th, 28th, 29th and 30th October 2006, 7.15pm
Venue - Chowdiah Memorial Hall, Bangalore
Tickets - Rs.299, Rs.199, Rs.99
Available at - Supermarket (Brigade Road), Rendezvous (Mosque Road), Friends Fast Food (Koromangala), Fab India (Indiranagar)

Email Jacob Ninan for more details.
jacob9n (at) gmail (dot) com

October 18, 2006


As the century nears its formidable end, our global experience of universe proportions, predicted by many greats will arrive at our solar system, to our system of a down. Authoritarian oppression, family abuse, depression caused by conformity, and economic devastation will be neutralized by technological terrorism in times of complete chaos. Control will never again be gained for. tolerance will become extinct. A husband quarrelling with his wife will not think twice or regret his spent bullet. Hungry children will not spare the grocer remorse in all forms will be removed from human thoughts and actions. Freedom will only be available through revolution or death. This system of a down is unavoidable as life on this planet becomes unnecessary.* The hand has five fingers, capable and powerful, with the ability to destroy as well as create. We have the power to stop and reverse the tides of time by making our awareness of abuse known to the powers of industry and their uncouth political arms. Only by raising this awareness and promoting personal peace within todays self-defeatist society, can we allow the planet a chance to avoid self-destruction!


October 11, 2006


"Hey there, I'm Randy!"

I swear, sometimes white-people jokes don't even need punchlines :)

[sorry no long posts for a while, but having hajar fun at work. Such a loser I am :P ]

October 10, 2006

What's he got that I ain't got?!

Mukka's going on a photo binge in France, coming up with some really stunning photos. Go, look, I command thee. I particularly like this one.

[bonus points if you can guess the connection with the title. Ha!]


I'll tell you this much about the MPD afflicted schizophrenic.
Atleast he's a people-person.


October 09, 2006

Not really a googlewhack, but close enough

Apparently it's not such a common opinion. Phew.


So it's been rough, the past couple of weeks. Having thrown myself into the job the best I can, a few things I've noticed about myself and this life.
I've been scowling more often. More often than I'd like to anyway. Frowns are commonplace too, and I've started listening to metal thinking gothy shitty ideas like pain and misery and how they give release to a fortunate few.
Remember how I used to say that I don't understand women? I think I've figured it out though. There's not that much that's a secret about them. They're phenomenally dumb. Painfully clueless.
Thank goodness we men are even worse. It'd be a pain to see men in charge of the world, and that'd be a totally miserable place to live in.

Oh wait.

Fuck. Whatever.

I'm growing sideburns too. Not as a way to look cool or anything, promise. Just. (and I might throw the 'ooh look at me, I look like a child rapist, boo!'argument here again, but that's boring now.)

I'm busy... with work. Actual, honest-to-goodness, occupational work. Which is new to me. Spending hajar time with manuals, discussing design concepts with the boss, late night javascript debugging (which is an absolute bitch, let me tell you).

So I'm tired, pissed off, bored, and counting pennies till the next salary.

Funny thing though?

Never been happier :)


[Walking off to System of a Down playing 'Aerials'. Life is a waterfall || We drink from the river || Then we turn around and put up our walls...]


Desipundit linked to me.





Ok, will quietly be humble and say thank you, Mr. Desipundit.

[PS- YAY!]

October 08, 2006

My first meme

[stolen from mad_madrasi, just because I liked it]

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
That I really need more facial hair. I'd like to look a little more rugged.

2. How much cash do you have on you?
1.4 grand. Withdrew money for clubbing last night, till someone decided to be a sourpuss and totally made us ditch the plan. Hmph.

3. What's a word that rhymes with DOOR?

4. Favorite planet?
(fictional allowed, I hope) k-pax. I want to see the movie again. They seem to be on hallucinogens the whole time.

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?
I_. I think she'd called because she figured the whole world was a little messed up and she needed some sanity. Yes, I recognize the irony.

6. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone?
Tring Tring Tring FUCK! Tring. Ok, it's not on mine, but I really really want it after I heard it somewhere.

7. What shirt are you wearing?
Half sleeves, buttons, dark blue pinstripes on white. Westside. My most formal one.

8. Do you label yourself?
Yeah. I'm Ludolphian. *chuckle*

9. Name the brand of your shoes you're currently wearing?
Reebok canvases. Urban casualwear, or so I'm told. They go well with everything.

10. Bright or Dark Room?
Um, dark, I think. Great for drinking, music, and nostalgia.

11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
mad_madrasi's kinda nice. Just started reading her. She seems normal, and therein lies the beauty, I think.

12. What does your watch look like?
No watches. Can't stand them. Also am superstitious about them.

13. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Mugging the prototype library reference. ("ELL!")

14. What did your last text message you received on your cell say?
'Dude, I really didn't mean to be condescending. Apologies if my qn sounded rude. I need to lighten the eff up.'

15. Where is your nearest 7-11?
Foodworld's an equivalent in India, yes? About 2 kms. There;s a shopping mall right next door though.
[sudden urge to go geek out on the xbox demo there]

16. What's a word that you say a lot?

17.Who told you he/she loved you last?

18. Last furry thing you touched?
The leftover biryani in the fridge. Yuck.

19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days?
One glass of rum, lots of tobacco, and one paracetomol.

20. How many rolls of toilet paper do you currently have in the house?
Zilch. Mug bucket, yo.

21. Favorite age you have been so far?
Seven. It was fun knowing nothing about the world.

22. Your worst enemy?
The fear of lung cancer. Or cirrohsis. heh.

23. What is your current desktop picture?
Pencils down, a photo that I took.

24. What was the last thing you said to someone?
"I give up".

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly what would it be?
The money. Can then take a long break and jumpstart the writing career (if there is one to be made, atleast).

26. Do you like someone?
... I'm not sure. I think I might want to be with her, but that could just be desperation talking. As of now I only want pants to jump :P

27. The last song you listened to?
Gravedigger- Dave Matthews

28. What time of day were you born?
I think around 4:30 am.

29. What's your favorite number?

30. Where did you live in 1987?
Sogath, Iran. Dad was practising there at the time.

31. Are you jealous of anyone?
Nobody anymore. It's easy to pick flaws when you're around them for short periods of time. They stop being envy-worthy after that.

32. Is anyone jealous of you?
Can't say. I think my flaws are obvious from a mile away anyway :)

33. Where were you when 9/11 happened?
Home. Saw the second flight hit in realtime. I think I said 'fuck!' in front of mom for the first time then.

34. What do you do when vending machines steal your money?
Cuss. Loudly. Especially the magazine dispensing machine in airports.

35. Do you consider yourself kind?
Not exceptionally. Kind is overrated, no?

36. If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be?
Back of the right shoulder. This image, maybe.

37. If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be?
Esperanto. Would be fun, I think.

38. Would you move for the person you loved?
Yeah. Wait, am I getting to jump her pants? Just asking.

39. Are you touchy feely?
Not at all.

40. What's your life motto?
Deconstruct, Analyze, Obfuscate, Present.

41. Name three things that you have on you at all times?
Credit cards, my phone, emergency cigarette.

42. What's your favorite town/city?
Aye, Tokanui in New Zealand. I REALLY want to go back some day. Sheep 'loll' on hills there.

43. What was the last thing you paid for with cash?
Pack of smokes. Forgot matches. Dammit.

44. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it?
I've never written a letter that was posted.
(Um, faintly remember writing one to pinky and Sweety when I was 14, I think.)

45. Can you change the oil on a car?

46. Your first love: what is the last thing you heard about him/her?
That she's happy in Bangalore, busy with work, and sometimes thinks fondly of me.

47. How far back do you know about your ancestry?
2 generations. Skip a lot of notches in the middle, and you'll land up with a bunch of potbellied old guys in Goa flashing their privates to passing ships. Disturbing.

48. The last time you dressed fancy, what did you wear and why did you dress fancy?
Sweety's wedding a couple of weeks back. Black sherwani, clean shaven. And YET I managed to get an aunt to ask me why I wasn't wearing traditional mojdi, or some such shit.

49. Does anything hurt on your body right now?
Right knee. I have a bruise there too, can't remember how it got there. Probably while crossing the road or something.

50. Have you been burned by love?
No. Does this make me less special?

October 07, 2006

Nagraj Vs. Shakoora The Magician

I can't believe I kept this as a draft and forgot to publish. Anyway, welcome to the crossover of the century, where DC, Marvel and Raj comics fight off Shakoora.

Mighty lol-worthy, to me atleast.


And like the psychos at scans_daily, I suppose I'll give you a sample panel too.

"What's all this happening?" Hehe.


I'm sorry, but am I the only guy who's confused by the number of javascript libraries out there? As this really well compiled list says, there are more than 50 options. FIFTY?! Whittled down even by category, it's way too much. (And it hasn't even mentioned solutions like Tibco's great GeneralInterface product. WYSIWYG-style AJAX interface design, how cool is that?) And sure, the argument is that there can be n-hajar libraries, and it doesn't matter because they're usually small, cacheable, and most importantly server generated, so there're no cross-browser, cross-platform problems. Which is all fine and dandy, aye, but jeezus, what's a developer like me to do? I have very little opinion when it comes to this, and I usually go for one that seems easy, goodlooking, and deployable fast. In fact, I've already decided on prototype+ script.aculo.us+ behaviour for this blog as soon as I hit the new beta blogger, but I can't seem to decide what to do at work, where the choice of libraries will probably affect a lot of things. And mind you, I went thru' a lot of the demos and each one seems to be quite as cool as the previous one. Aaargh!

Phew. Needed to get that out of my system.

PS- Not impressed with Dojo. Sorry, but I'm going to wait till it hits production level before I do comment more on it.

Update: looks like prototype has a nice little $$ function which does the same thing as behaviour.js. So just prototype+scriptaculous should do fine.


When the world ends
Collect your things
You’re coming with me
When the world ends
You tuckle up yourself with me
Watch it as the stars disappear to nothing
The day the world is over
We’ll be lying in bed

Dave Matthews Band, 'When the world ends' - From the Matrix Reloaded soundtrack.

You gotta love a guy who uses the word 'tuckle' :)
Really nice song. Lyrics here.
Ok, now work.

October 06, 2006


Beatzo has updated his gallery of original comicart over at comicartfans.com. Go give it a look see. And from one who's seen the the actual pieces up close, I can promise you that I am truly, completely, insanely jealous. Dammit.

MCP, sure.

What the heck is wrong with you women? Can't you all, for once, be nice, understanding, passionate but practical, engaging but subdued, interesting, wild, deep, intense, intimate, hard-to-get, intelligent, emotionally available, personal, chatty, freeminded, clean, funny, commited, loving, all round perfect?

That, or you could do a naked belly dance in front of me once in a while. I'm not too particular.

October 05, 2006

George, he's like.... AKA ContextIsForTheWeak

(title cccf: scans_daily)

Today's Hyderabad Times has an article on it's front page (which is basically page 250something if you start with the actual paper, which should anyway be used as toi-let paper, but has too much shit to take anymore anyway, etc, etc.) called "George on women, Oscars...." (yes, four dots) Anyway, it's on *ok* article, with 3 quotes by George Clooney that quite stand out in a completely unintentionally funny way if you remove context-

"I want to spend every single night for 3 months going out with a different actress. You know, Halle Berry one night, Salma Hayek the next, and then walk on the beach holding hands with Leonardo DiCaprio"
So Leo's an actress. Hmm.

"[Cate Blanchett]'s the best actor working today. Not actress, she's an actor."
Double Hmm.

" I think [Clive Owen]'s a movie star. He's, like, a man."
Hmm overload.

The rest, readers, I leave to you. Heha!


PS- Little Pinkie asks this of Youtube - "Why would they want to put up Paris Hilton's sex video AND Paris Hilton's dog's sex video? Maybe we should be thankful it wasn't Paris Hilton and her dog's sex video" Amen.

[I just said 'sex video' thrice. Funny :) Later, folks! ]

Random photos

In no order = child rapist sideburns, feet off the ground, the new cabinet, and Insomnia (paid 40 bucks and found a one dollar bill folded right in it, no kidding).

Busy busy. Later.

October 04, 2006

If I was a fulltime obsessive blogger like so many other people on that crappy LJ, I would feel...

[and that's about a third of the time]

[and then I'd tell you what song I was listening to too, like that matters]

[and then the comment whores would appraoch]

[and I could answer each comment individually, making you feel special, and also raising my own coolness "personal touch" factor]

[cower at my overpowering coolness because I have HTML control, LJ dickwads!]

[CSS also!]

[But I can't have penguins :( ]