"'Truth is strange," you know, "stranger than fiction' - besides being more to the point" - Edgar Allan Poe

March 28, 2006

WeekendRoundup - Of NiceGuys, Cheeslings and FishCurryRice (AKA JumpTheShark)

You know something's wrong when you wake up on a Monday Morning and have no idea where you are.

And when it hits you that you're on the lawn of your own house is when the alarm bells in your head go crazy.

Especially since you're only in a tshirt and boxers.

Aargh. I think we'll have to rewind and tell the story from the beginning.

Remember the cheesling post on Friday? I very conveniently didn't post a detail that'd happened on Thursday. You see, I was done with yet another day at the office, had cancelled dinner with the polar bear, and was working on the net till sometime close to midnight. The folks are upstairs watching tv, and I'm packing up after a long conversation with the sister. Walking towards the fridge to get out the guava nectar (yummo) I'm passing the housemaid... but I don't.

She makes a move on me.

Look, I'm quite sure it was a move. Not accidental. I can say this because there was a form of, um, er, grabbing involved.

Let's just say the family heirlooms were in danger.

I, of course, reacted the way any SunilPai would; that's to say I went "gasp!" and ran away at the speed of light. Locked myself into my room, took a few deep breaths and said what I'd normally say under such circumstances.

"What the ^%*$%^$^ (%^*$^%$% ?!"

Needless to say, the lock stayed put the whole night, as did my pants. I didn't even get my guava nectar.

[dramatic pause]

It happened again the next night.

[shame eww gross aargh]

Relax, the pants were on the whole time. As a matter of fact, I think my jeans have grafted themselves on to my thighs so it makes removing them plain impossible. Besides, this is just yet another time when the Gods get together in their divine rec-room and think, "How do we mess with Pai's destiny today?". I'm doomed, never should have told them that I'd gone atheist (yes yes, paradoxironical, I know)

So Saturday, I did what was expected. I ran farther away. Took half the day off, met with up with the metrochIca in Mojo's and didn't move butt till evening. This, of course, was even more depressing since she looked WOW and I was in my crummy kurta-lookalike. Whatever. Then, got myself invited to a LoungePiranha Jam session (those guys are good, and got suitably impressed with the stuff I loaned them from my giganto hard drive. I say 'loaned' because OMG, I am SO going to make them regret the favour) and headed for ScottishWines to meet the women.

Of course, I was also mighty drunk by this time, so I promptly decided to let the loose lips run and make a fool of myself.

Factor 1: A new woman's at the table. She's undescribably want-able, if you get my drift.
Factor 2: My cheesling theory isn't going down too well, and I need fresh material to spruce up my FunnyGuy reputation.
Factor 3: More wine at the table = more wine in my tummy.

So, idiot that I am, I decide to tell them the housemaid story.

As you can imagine, this counts amongst the worst decisions ever made by a human, equivalent probably to the time they decided to make Sosyo (yucky).

I must tell you this. When you're stony drunk, you don't recognize for about twenty minutes that the people around you aren't laughing at your joke, but they're laughing at YOU. When the fact hits, however, it's plain cruel. And it can only get worse.

Of course, you also make the mistake of thinking more alcohol will help.

Godammit.

Anyway, long story short, I messed up my rep for the next few months, stayed the night at the BroInLaw's place(this is what he had to say about it), chain smoked a whole pack of cigarettes, and woke up next morning for the weekly KQA quiz. Got into the finals, sucked there, reached Koshy's with Rajib, the bear, got a lot of new comics/music/anime from Beatzo, and reached home in time for Dinner.

Yes, home. In proximity of the maid again.

Er.

Thankfully, no more Pi-molestation occured, and I decided to stuff my face with my aunt's God-fabulous FishCurryRice, and went back onto the net.

Depressing. Opinion on the cheesling post was mixed. And Spai and Pirates are having some totally weird love-hate relationship in the comments section that I have no intention of stepping into (I repeat, I am NOT stepping into it). Also, V_ was also back online, and conversation with her and left me more mixed up than ever. Harumph.

Smoke. Smoke. Smoke. It's late in the night. My mind's delving into a whirl of misunderstandings, expectations, and missed chances. I'm standing on the lawn, feeling the grass between my toes and the wind on my face. Man, I'm confused.

Also, I'm scared to go back inside the house, because the maid's there. Duh. I lock up the house FROM THE OUTSIDE, lie down on the lawn, and then proceed to have the best sleep I've had in three days.

Honestly, what better option did I have?

March 27, 2006

Brudderman

Teeny tiny update.

I'd like you to meet my brother. He's my drinking partner, comrade, and we have more in common that I ever thought possible. And now he blogs too. Woohoo!


[Typing fresh posts right now. Promise]

March 24, 2006

Who's ThatGuy?

"Yeah, I was talking to Pi the other day and..."
"Pi? Who's Pi?"
"Oh, he's ThatGuy I know..."

It's a tough job being ThatGuy.

ThatGuy's usually the kind of person you don't need around, but it's quite alright if he is anyway. ThatGuy's also the perpetual filler; though there's never a dull moment with ThatGuy, you secretly hope there was a better option. ThatGuy is also doomed to be single for life.

ThatGuy knows this. And it pisses him off thoroughly.

I met ThatGuy the other day as I passed the mirror. I looked at him and asked if all was ok. He looked back at me with the typical TG-nice-guy smile (that betrayed just a hint of sadness, or maybe indigestion) and said "You and me, we're cheeslings"

WTF?

"Yeah, we're a decoratory tidbit on a gourmet smorgasbord. We're not interesting, we're not wanted OR needed; hell, we're tiny tasteless sqaures, operational word SQUARE. We're the only 'dish' that's never finished completely, and the half-empty bowl (or half-full, yet doesn't matter) gets chucked away at the end. Tea doesn't go with cheeslings. Juice, dosas, NOTHING goes with cheeslings. Dude, we're cheeslings."

See, that's the most depressing thing I've ever heard.

It's so depressing I'm ending this section right now.



---------------------------------------------------------

I've decided finally NOT to get my own domain. It requires the equivalent of about 10 bottles of beer a month (B'lore prices), and frankly, I prefer the company of beer than the adulation of net-wankers, thank you very much. My "content driven personal portal" will have to wait. However, if anyone's interested in figuring out how to do it, I'm willing to help out. I have some accumulated research on hosting providers, domain registration, and will willingly share. (Yes Venu, even how to set up a temporary complete webserver stack on your own comp to test it).

So expect more nonsense right here! Woohoo! Major posting starts Monday, no shit!

March 20, 2006

TrueOrFalse

"It's on Sarjapur Road" Right. Which is about a gazillion miles long.

"It's right on the roadside" Uh huh. It's not.

"There's a sign which says Alps Estates" Again, wrong. No sign. Pretentious fucks, these builders.

"They're two BIG buildings" Bzzzt! Three, actually.

"They're the only red buildings in the area". Ladies and gentlemen, OMG, like, white is the new red!

"The apartment number is B-1" WRONG. It was actually 1-1B.

"I've been there before, so I know it" Sister, eat my shorts.

Three trips I've made, 2 in the night, and one in the day. Just yesterday, walked a total of 8 kms (3 hours), auto-ed another 24 (one-way), got a serious case of dusty underwear and macadam lungs, couldn't smoke kings, [complain][complain][complain]. Just when I thought I was having the most fabulous weekend, this shit has to happen to me.

How do I fix this?

Call up the women, reach TGIF, and chilllll.

I love my friends. :)


And yeah, solemn oath to never take directions from a woman again.


PS- Lounge Piranha rocked at Palace grounds.

March 17, 2006

This made me sad.



[Bonus if you have speakers. Eerie.]

EDIT: If you liked that, there's this Polish artist called Zdzisław Beksiński. Check him out.

March 16, 2006

Top ten wtf titles for a blog post that got nowhere yet here they are despite myself

  • Having a blog is the only way I can get in touch with my www.innerchild.com.
  • Come on baby, let's be an embedded system.
  • Farenheit 314
  • Top ten wtf titles for a blog post that got nowhere yet here they are despite myself.
  • "Dear Abby, Im a blogger, but I can't blog anymore; it's just links links links"
  • It's stupid being in love, all your socks fit wrong for a week.
  • It's stupid being in love, boybands start making sense.
  • It's lovely being stupid, and that's because, well, because :D
  • Honey, I'm homoooooo! (don't even think about it)


And the winner is -

  • Come again? (AKA The Secret Behind Multiple Orgasms)

A note in my pocket


[EDIT EDIT EDIT]

If you wait for me then I’ll come for you
Although I’ve traveled far
I always hold a place for you in my heart
If you think of me, if you miss me once in awhile
Then I’ll return to you
I’ll return and fill that space in your heart

Remembering
Your touch
Your kiss
Your warm embrace
I’ll find my way back to you
If you’ll be waiting
If you dream of me like I dream of you
In a place that’s warm and dark
In a place where I can feel the beating of your heart

Remembering
Your touch
Your kiss
Your warm embrace
I’ll find my way back to you
If you’ll be waiting
I’ve longed for you and I have desired
To see your face your smile
To be with you wherever you are

Remembering
Your touch
Your kiss
Your warm embrace
I’ll find my way back to you
If you’ll be waiting
I’ve longed for you and I have desired
To see your face, your smile
To be with you wherever you are

Remembering
Your touch
Your kiss
Your warm embrace
I’ll find my way back to you
Please say you’ll be waiting

Together again
It would feel so good to be
In your arms
Where all my journeys end
If you can make a promise if it’s one that you can keep, I vow to come for you
If you wait for me and say you’ll hold
A place for me in your heart.

[Tracy Chapman - The Promise]

March 14, 2006

FYI

Sorry I've not been posting recently, and I figure it's been months since I actually typed out an actual post. Don't expect too much either in the future. All gung-ho about the new site. Question now is if I can beat Raj_Up to it :D

March 11, 2006

[shame]

Er, right, whatever that was.


Sheesh.

March 10, 2006

ThisAndThat

GapingVoid (Do remember to check his essay on "how to be creative". Nice writeup)
Afterimagery (Arif's finally redesigned it, and it looks bloody fabulous)

Minority Report comes true; (the really cool interface, atleast. Don't forget to see the video link at the end. Orgasming is allowed)

I finally found an amzaon copy of my all time favourite book Raven, by SA Swiniarski. There's even an excerpt here. (I think I'm biased towards SAS because of the obvious love for Poe he shows; then again, this book is the reason I even started reading Poe.)

Now playing another piece of forgotten childhood, the game Sanitarium. Tripping out.

Also doing a 1000-piece jigsaw puzzle. That'll take a couple of months atleast. Finished off another lego, the coolest F1 set (part of their TECHNIC series). The camera's been borrowed by a GiantScaryByker, so no photos for a while.

Recommended random link - Christopher Walken reading Poe's "The Raven". [Shiver]

Also, sms RCL C to 7007 and make sure LoungePiranha get to play with Parikrama. I also recommend their MP3s available right off the site. Terrific stuff. PS- Also very stoner-friendly :)

Back to work.

March 08, 2006

BritGrungeZen

“If somebody said to me, in twelve years you’ll be in a band with
your brother and two carrot munching geezers who don’t like football, I
would have said fuck off, I’m not joining the Bee Gees.”


Noel Gallagher, Oasis

[PS- Making the transition to wordpress. When? Soon.]

March 07, 2006

ScenesFromAMemory- Part 1


Time taken for complete assembly- approx 2 hours.

March 06, 2006

A reminder...

... to all of you to go visit Ryan's photoblog here, if you haven't yet. Fascinating.

PreludeToScenesFromAMemory


I'm getting all geared up to write a whole nostalgia post myself, but the goat beat me to it; the dude even has the upper hand with funny-ass tulu poetry. What he DOESN'T have, are the most awesome pictures of childhood memorabilia. Not going to give away anything, except for a teaser.

One of the gazillion awesome things I found was this badge. (Judges please note, this is 16 years old. Not shitting ya) And it's now a permanent fixture on my bag.

Guys, eat your heart out.

March 02, 2006

Pi ver 0.1

Haha, I'm an actual "beta" version here.

Get it?

[cracks up laughing]




["Beta" is hindi for 'son', remember? No? Ah, fuhgeddaboudit.]