"'Truth is strange," you know, "stranger than fiction' - besides being more to the point" - Edgar Allan Poe

January 25, 2006


The goat calls me at eight in the morning. And he starts screaming into my ear "Bitch, you thank me for putting you into Mr. Saarang! Thank me now, Bitch!". Just as I was about to start abusing the shithead, he pulls an absolute rabbit outta the Nike cap by informing me that my photo's come in TheWeek.

Yeah, that's right, I can hear the WTFs you're gasping.

Part of the Saarang publicity has dribbled onto the pages of the week. And accompanying this article is a collage of photos which has half-me giving a mock-bath to this MCC woman on stage during the Mr. And Ms. Saarang event. (don't ask, the goat came up with the most embarassing rounds for the event).

So I'm in print. w00t! Now THIS better kick up my RealEstate value in the dating game.

(Dude, you're not even a player.)

Whatever. Hmph.

(Er, and that's just half your face in the pic. Hell, it's barely recognizable.)

Oh shut up, willya?

(Besides, it's kinda corny. Besides, I'm thinking the focus is the woman; she IS going around with another IITian anyway.)

...

Fuck you. I hate a conscience that only rains on my parade.

(Man, I'm good. Bruhahaha :D )

Kini, before I forget, thanks.

The newsletter (Day1) is now available on the Saarang website as a pdf. I'm page 3, baby! And despite what Muk says, I still think it's a nice piece to read in a culfest newsletter.
Also, my Saarang post last year.

SisterPinky messaged me and said "What're you doing with that girl by the way? Is that what they call cultural fests nowadays? I told your mom you were crowning the new Miss Saarang, but there was no crown to be seen of course, so I told her it was a symbolic crowning, you know how these cultural scenes are."
Hmph. She didn't even win. M(r)s. Saarang was an 50-something English teacher from CMS Jain, B'lore. I kid you not.

Anyway, here's the article.
---------------------------------------------------

I hate it here

I hate this fest. I can’t help it. I’ve been here twice and I couldn’t stand it. And let me tell you why.

There’s no time to sleep. There’s no period of time when you can sneak out for a couple of hours to bond with that cute MCCite over a drink. Nope, you’ll have to do that over the wails of extremely loud guitars and the roar of 10000 people in an OAT that’s flooded with bizarre lights and sounds that bring back nonexistent memories of Woodstock. And I don’t even know the words, so to hear everybody chanting along in a chorus that brings shivers to my already sleepy self is very ego-shattering. The participation is crazy, so that means I’ll have to gasp every time a group dance entry finishes to applause that sounds like white noise on full volume, and the whistles of a thousand banshees echoing off the walls. This stress kills me, the feeling of competition that’s not one-sided, and quality performances only make want to curl up into a little ball moaning “It’s so beautiful, I can’t hold it all in” I’m telling you, stressful.

There’re too many people here, have you noticed? I hate making so many friends in so little time, and my phonebook runs out of space, as does my inbox. I’m a reclusive kinda guy, so meeting people who make me never want to leave is waaaay too much stress. And I’m not such a big fan of feeling wanted either, especially when these are smart, educated, and really FUN people. Really, the feeling of depression that one gets on Day5 during final curtain calls is something no man/woman/whatever should be subjected to.

And the women. OMG, the women. Somebody get me a RedBull.

The organizers, dammit, suck so hard. I do not like it when the organizers think of everything and make sure we’re “cared” for. Hell, I want to get back to my college and b**ch to friends about how the accommodation was bad, the loos stank, the food was below par, the events were shoddily conducted, the hosts were rude, and so on; these idiots aren’t ever going to give me the opportunity to. Hell, these guys even remember to flush. Aargh.

I’d like this fest to end. It is simply not fair for the IITians to conduct an event; no, a bloody carnival that leads to repercussions that will never be foreseen; concepts like extreme nostalgia and flashbacks for years to come. It just ain’t fair, I tellya, to indulge the world into mindbending euphoria for 5 straight days, and then say goodbye with only a promise that it’ll easily be better the following year. Haven’t you engineers ever heard of promises being made to be broken?

Dear IIT-M, I ask you, who gave you the right to do this? Who told you to have an allnight quiz that promises more than the average trivia challenge, each and every time? Who gave you the right to give hundreds and thousands of young people the opportunity to prove to the world how good they are, in whatever field of ‘talent’ that can be imagined? Why provide such unlimited hilarity to our already troubled generation; to give them the chance to ‘break loose’ and revel in the glory of being the hope for tomorrow, to kick back and fall in love? It ain’t fair, I tellya.

Man, I hate it here.

PS- Anybody know where I can get a free ticket to Led Zepplica? No? Dammit.


(Sunil Pai is 22, works (somewhat) in B'lore, and thinks the Mr. Saarang title is overrated, even though he won it. Go figure. He can be contacted at threepointone@gmail.com)

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Do you guys approve?

8 Comments:

The Agony Aunt said...

:)

Venu said...

You are pretty much mastering irony.

Saturday Night Takeout said...

Reverse Irony, rather. For a crummily named column called "Through The Reverse Peeephole". Jeez, they could have named it something better than that atleast.

Venu said...

Through The Reverse Peeephole.

I cant even figure out what thats supposed to mean.

Saturday Night Takeout said...

I'm not making this up. Download the pdf, and check out Page 3. That's what they've named the coulmn.

Erm, in case you missed it, - http://www.saarang.org/downloads/Day1.pdf

All or Nothing said...

i liked the 'psst'
but the 'last posts' is a little too...i don't know...jarring? big? cluttered? i don't know abt layout n stuff too well, but i think u shd reduce the font size of the 'last posts'. It overshadows your posts.

Rajat said...

Hey!

I read the article in The Week after your post here.

And the new look looks good, I must say. But definitely still in beta. And was the header image made using GIMP? That looks a very GIMPy kind of product, though I have used Photoshop to achieve a similar effect.

Pi said...

Photoshop. Did it right after the last chittaranjan trip. It can only get better, y'all.

GIMP has always crashed on any Windoze system I've installed it on. The swapfile rubbish always pops up, and the "bad things will happen VERY soon" sign pissed me off.