"'Truth is strange," you know, "stranger than fiction' - besides being more to the point" - Edgar Allan Poe

December 29, 2006

mixtape

Here are a bunch of songs you might like. Genres shift from grunge/alt/psych rock to metal to lounge, techno, and then some 80's pop. Basically stuff that I discovered (or rediscovered) in the past few months.

Machinehead (Bush), I dare you to move (Switchfoot), Angel Eyes (Jerry Cantrell), Mystical Machine Gun (Kula Shaker), Summer's Rain (Savatage), Aerials (System of a Down), Afternoon Sister (Air), Trip Like I do (Filter/Crystal Method), Invisible touch (Genesis), Toy Soldiers (Martika).

Have fun.

December 28, 2006

All I wanna do, is have some fun

I've got a feeling, I'm not the only one.

December 22, 2006

Victim #439

I strike again.

...the system

Marathi for "only" is "fucktha".

Pronounced "Fuck-The".

May the puns begin.

December 21, 2006

Because it's that kind of day...

Consider.

The stalwart public inspector has managed to twice thwart the evil Afghan drug smugglers plans to get white powder into the country.
Afghan Smuggler be pissed. Much.

The Smuggler hears that inspector's to-be in-laws are coming in from Kabul. He decides to kidnap them and hold them for ransom. Does so. Makes demands that inspector come alone to pick them up so that they can settle scores.

Inspector shows up. So far, so good.

The inlaws are all tied up. The inspector shows up with the 'maal'.

But the smuggler, as any smuggler worth his salt would do, decides to mess with the guy. A standard scuffle ensues, where suddenly 2 rifle-toting chicks show up, one of who is the inspector's "to-be" bride. Fiance, w/e.

The scene - Inspector's holding smuggler by the neck, gun pointed at head, already made all his cronies drop their guns and all. Dialogue -

"Pasha, [that's the smuggler's name], do you remember Badshah Khan, the man you betrayed all thsoe years ago?"

"Er, yeah, sure I do. Got him locked up in jail for messing with the dood that is me".

"Well then, listen. My inlaws that you've captured, do you know who they are? Look closely! That lady is nobody else but Badshah Khan's wife, who has gone mad ever since her husband was locked up for life and she figured he's never coming back! And that man, he's Badshah Khan's best friend Khudah Baksh, who's sacrificed his life trying to take care of his best friend's wife. And these women who've come with me! My fiance Mehndi, she's Badshah Khan's daughter, who only days ago realized that her father is still alive and had to sacrifice his life of any meaning in order to save his rakhi sister's reputation. And the other girl, she's the daughter of the policeman, Badshah Khan's best friend in jail, that you had killed by your corrupt police officer friend! And me, I'm the son of that same corrupt police officer, who's lived his life thinking he got killed on duty, while in reality was killed by my own mother when he tried to kill Badshah Khan while simulataneously harassing her! Badshah Khan took the murder upon his own head [sic] and lived so many years in jail, and sacrificed his won life!"

At this point of time, Beatzo and myself burst into laughter, imagining the mindfuck information overload that Pasha is going through. Beatzo was imagining Pasha would go mad screaming "OMG mudderfucchers this is way too much shit happening at much! Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!"

KhudahGawah has one seriously hilarious climax :D

Bonus - So Badshah Khan (Amitabh Bachchan, if you'll remember) shows up as well, major fightaction scene happens, and they beat the baddies with pistols, rifles, and a tiger striped bazooka launcher.
No, seriously, a bazooka.

So during the final moments of the film, finally when Bachchan reunites with Sridevi after so many years, the supporting cast starts shooting their weapons in the air, like pathans and rajputs apparently do to celebrate, or some such thing.

Sridevi (double role, his daughter) is firing a rifle into the air.
Shilpa Shirodkar too.
Danny Denzongpa (Khudah Baksh) is firing a pistol into the air.

And Nagarjuna (the inspector).
Nagarjuna.

The uber smart police inspector.

Fires a bazooka into the air.
Straight up.


AHAHAHAHAHAHA! Run fuckers, run!

December 18, 2006

AReallyLongWeekendRoundUp - Preview


[which doubles up as a really cool coke ad]

December 15, 2006

Episode 16


Programmer stickman from the wonderful super webcomic xkcd.com.
[please don't sue me]

December 13, 2006

BoremMarem, World

From a shack in Goa

December 11, 2006

Blogger Beta wishlist

  1. Inline comments/ commenting straight from the comments subpage like Wordpress. Status - Currently not possible.
  2. Threaded comments like live journal. I've figured out how to do this with GoogleBase, but I still need the inline comments to work for that :( So status - Currently not possible.
  3. DeviantART Categories style version of the archives dropdown tree. Status- Possible, and working on it. Should be up by the weekend :) It's quite cool, if I should say so myself.
  4. Random header image. Status- Very easy, will include it when I include the third one as well.
  5. Peekaboo style navbar. Status- Very easy. Again, weekend.
  6. A sitemap for the blog. Not really important, and I can't see any actual usage for it, but it'd be nice to know I can :)
  7. Ability to add 'pages' instead of just posts. For example, an about page with my profile, a link page, etc etc. I think wordpress and textpattern let you do this. Again, not really difficult to implement, but it'd clutter up my page code. It'd be nice to know I could make separate pages instead.
  8. A giant black hole that draws people towards my blog, whether they want to or not :P

Dammit!

The old comments style system is not possible. I can't give you an inline comments form. Sorry :(

Here's why (for the tech inclined)

December 10, 2006

The Bullet and the B-school

http://www.royalenfield.com/app/IN/trip.asp?sID=4313

- By Byker.

Man, I look like shit!

Have you noticed that too many people are using the word 'literally' without knowing what it means, and in completely inappropriate contexts.

Somebody has a bad exam and they go "Man, I was literally screwed!"

Tch tch. What this means is that they just had sex (or they got penetrated, to put it bluntly).

[Ooh, a crass unintended pun. Hehe.]

Literally means that you're supposed to take the actual meaning of what is being said. Understand?

The actual word that you'd look for in the previous example is 'figuratively'.

ie, "I figuratively got screwed".

Which sounds like crap, so you might as well be succinct and just say you got screwed. Let the context explain it by itself.

Perhaps an example of proper usage of the word is required.

I look like shit, literally!
Click here to understand what I mean.

December 08, 2006

Where art thou, Vishal?


Have you guys ever been to www.VishalPatel.com ? It's hilarious, and it's been up for a while. Go through all the articles there.

But that's not the point of this post. You see, I've died trying to contact this guy, trying to find out if he's alive, and so on, just so I can thank him for the laffs.

It's been over a year since I've tried (since July 2005, when I first posted about him)I've been very unsuccessful so far.

I first tried the email address on the site (mail@vishalpatel.com), but the mail bounced back immediately. Recently, I ran a whois search on his domain, and got some details. The phone number listed doesn't seem to be operational though, and the email id there bounced as well. Dammit.

So I have one last option. The postal address listed. Tomorrow morning, am posting a letter to him, and hoping that it reaches him, and he replies (am including my email address and phone number in it, just in case). I REALLY REALLY hope he responds. I just want to say thanks :S Wish me luck.

So you think I'm obsessed? You don't even want to know what I've been doing to find out where Malini Sharma has disappeared :P

PS- As a bonus, here's a list of ALL the taglines that keep showing up in the topleft corner of Vishal's page (everytime you refresh). Oh, the things I do for you :P

"messing with your head since 1693"
"don't try this at home"
"fortified with vitamins and iron"
"this tagline keeps changing"
"dammit sabu! that planet is not jupiter"
"ticketless travel is social evil"
"keptenn! keptenn! the wingons are wattacking!"
"it's not what you're thinking"
"jackdaws love my big sphinx of quartz"
"the mirror also stares back"
"never shooting at any human or animal"
"twist his waist and he swings back with a power punch"
"whoever says, he is only"
"i'm not using my fingers to type this"
"angst in your pangst"
"weapons of mass-distraction"
"the first one's free"
"in pin safteypin, in pin... owch!"
"oh yes baby mmm that's nice"
"for smart, healthy hair & fresh, glowing skin"
"child in arm requires full ticket"
"cleanliness is next to godliness"
"made fom 100% ayurvedic herbs and roots"
"a perfect illusion"
"schrödinger killed the cat"
"all hail arch-groovy fancypants xxvii"
"quick, look behind you!"
"you too can have a body like mine"
"allow four to eight weeks for delivery"
"four legs good, two legs bad"
"second to the right, and straight on till morning"
"where the devil are my slippers??"
"meanwhile, back in metropolis..."
"it's been about an hour since an hour ago"
"it's the end of the world as we know it"
"gîl síla erin lû govaded mín"
"now with amazing x-ray vision!"
"to stop train pull chain"
"here comes the sun doo doo doo doo"
"by appointment to her majesty the queen"
"recommended by 9 out of 10 dentists"
"a low-calorie alternative to organised religion"
"uncertain electrons in probability clouds"
"keeps you feeling fresh all day long"
"dead ant, dead ant... dead ant, dead ant, dead ant"
"now in special vacuum-seal pack!"
"75% more effective than aromatherapy"
"it only seems kinky the first time"

FetusX

Go read this. The creator's doing art on Ellis' next series "Rocket Pirates". And anyone with the W-man's seal of approval is good in my books, surely.

December 06, 2006

South Park Characters... by YOU and ME!


Thanks to Mommy. This is the coolest thing I've seen all day. You can make your own south park character! FUCKING AWESOME!


Go here and make your own!

Hey, this blog template will be undergoing some serious rewriting for the next few days, and I expect more than one thing to keep breaking. Sorry. Should be back to normal by the end of the week. I think I've figured out the commenting issue too, so wish me luck.

.

So last night someone looks me in the eye and says "I hear Scorpios won't answer irritating irrelevant questions. Is this true?"

I couldn't help laughing back in her face :P

[scribbled on a domino's pizza receipt at 2 in the morning]

Ironically, I find myself not believing in trust anymore. Yeah, it might be fantastical, or as some might consider, "faith", but more because it has to do with people, and people are an unpredictable bunch. The same goes to emotion, promises, love, even short gestures like offering to pick up the paper on the way home. What I do believe, is paying the rent. Not much more. I like systems, institutions, rules, and behavior, mostly because they can't back and bite you on the ass when you don't expect it.

Of course, all this means I'm fuckin' bored. Go figure.

-------------------------------------------------------


For your entertainment (and mine!), I present... a phallic ketchup bottle! (among other photos)

ego-bashing

I realize that all the opinions I have, all the statements I make, all the people I hate and dislike, all the judgments I pass, all the rants I pander, and so on, don't amount to shit; because nobody cares, it's just a blog, and frankly, I'm not someone considered responsible, not really accountable even to myself, and I'm dangerous if taken seriously.

Phew, thank God for that.

December 05, 2006

Firebug 1.0 beta released

Firebug 1.0 (beta) for firefox is out today. And it's the most amazing web development tool I've ever seen. 10 minutes into checking out the beta and I'm orgasming in javascript glory. Just when I thought this product couldn't get better, it's taken a few gigantic leaps and bounds for this release. Go see new features and drool.

December 04, 2006

I'm such a goon :P

A happy one, from the look of it.

December 03, 2006

"... it's how stiff the drink is"

Blue Waters, Manipal, earlier this year.

December 02, 2006

.

This could've been a longer post, but let's just talk highlights.
I got teargassed accidentally by the cops in Mulky. Goddamn pissing off chemical it is.
Knee's still being a bitch.
Heading for Goa in the morning (missed it today because of the stupid communal riots, w/e)

Where's a nice status quo when you need one?

November 30, 2006

TheCrybaby

[experimental]

There was ths boy, he cried, he cried,
You'd probably think some-buddy died,
when he slept, he wept,
as he called, he bawled,
and everybody knew why.

Was no secret, no great tragedy,
no long lost love that made him saddy,
he was just a lonely guy,
living out a harrassment of sorts, not gladly.

when he was happy, he'd shed tears of mirth,
and when blood ran, he'd feel the pain,
and cry
and cry.

we tried to show him beauty, he felt overwhelmed,
we showed him true suffering, he felt suicidal,
we showed him the banality of 60 tv channels and nothing on,
he wet his face with the water of bore-dom.

we killed a puppy in front oh his eyes,
he shrieked and died of empathy,
then we made him eat flambe canine with a dressing of vinegar,
he passed out with the joy of it all.

And yet he cried, we knew not what to do.
We got him porn, and he thought we were being so sweeeeeeeet,
made him pop some X,
that's not all it takes.

[He finally got a shrink. Yeah, I know, such a pain.]

November 27, 2006

.

A few more changes made to the blog. Still working on it. about 150 posts tagged. It's SO painful :( Anyway, got all my old links back in the sidebar. Will fix the super long label list soon, promise. Commenting too, but having some issues with it.
Oh, and this is officially post 400. How cute.

Laytor.

go slow

November 25, 2006

today...

She told me "Sunil, you're not the person I remember you to be."

She sighed, looked at my skinhead cut, the goatee, the torn jeans and went on "Don't you remember what it was like a few years ago? You were so happy-go-lucky, enjoyed waking up to every new day, learning and reading and playing and all that. I remember you always talking about the future and looking forward to it, but now all you do is reminisce about the past and make long faces about 'things that could have been'. You were so much fun to be around at the time. You'd keep yourself clean, be decent, social, affable, and SO NICE. You'd show me cool magic tricks, talk about cartoons on tv, and godammit, you used to SMILE so much. Whatever happened to all that, huh? HUH?"

I scowled back and said "Mom, leave me alone, I'm sleepy."

November 23, 2006

Am in Manipal. Came to get some medical attention for my busted knee, and might turn out to be a much needed vacation. A week or so, I'm guessing.

Also, have managed to get the blog looking a little presentable now, you must agree. Haven't yet done all I need to, and will finish labeling all he post probably only by the end of next doomsday. W/e.

Will hook up super cool commenting system and all also only later. Till then, ta!

November 22, 2006

If you're in Bangalore tomorrow...


... and upon seeing all his near and dear ones across the monitors, George put down his drum sticks, and in a voice filled with apprehension asked his charioteer, "Do I see things Lord Kamal? Are these the very people who pinched my cheeks when I was a little child running around in Kotayam? I can't play drums in front of these people Lord Kamal, please turn this chariot around and take me home". Upon hearing which, Lord Kamal jumped out and facing his drummer said, "Mr George, life is fleeting. You are born, your cheeks get pinched, you steal mangoes, you grow up, you go to school, you bunk your way through college. Some become engineers some become daacturs. Some become rich and some become artists and musicians. Look, check this out." And Lord Kamal became small small small until he was not visible anymore to George's naked eyes. "Now check this out", he continued and became big big big big, soooo big, and when he laughed, the bedazzled George could see the entire universe in his mouth. And returning to his normal size Lord Kamal spake thus, "So you see George, this is Maya and you're the drummer. Now pick up your sticks and play".

And that did the trick.


(LP's reading the Bhagavad Gita?! OMFG!)

November 21, 2006

see the black...

This is such a beautiful blog.

http://shadking.wordpress.com/

November 15, 2006

.

Object.extend{World.prototype,(
attemptScore:function(){
try{$$('#india #hyderabad .hottie .single .twentySomething")each(function() {piHitsOn(this);});}
catch(e){ if (e.rejectThatLoser){alert("yeah, whatever");}}
});
}



[men who pause]

Old template while I figure out GML, etc.

Ref docs - http://ecmanaut.blogspot.com/2006/09/blogger-beta-templates.html , http://www.wilkinsons.com/Bananna/2006/08/deconstructing-blogger-beta-html.html

November 14, 2006

pause

Have switched over to blogger beta, and it'll take me some time to put back the functionality from the old template, get it back to looking like that etc, especially since I want to use all the new functionality. Till then, might not be posting. Should take till the end of the weekend.

Besides, I think I'll have to sit and tag ALL of my previous 400 posts, which is going to be a complete pain in the ass, I'm sure. Dammit.

Later!

November 13, 2006

"Let them eat cake" AKA 23 is such a dirty number.

I don't like birthdays.

Correction. I hate MY Birthday.

I'm not a big fan of people calling me up and wishing me. It makes me feel, accountable to them, y'know? Like I owe them for calling me or something.
B'day gifts, not so much. Nobody seems to know what I like. One time, I got a box of chocolates filled with cherries.
YUCK!
And on parties, don't get me started.

So the plan was simple. The flatmate was headed for Indore. Aunty was assumedly going to the other side of the city, so the options were -

1. Get drunk and depressed.
2. Repeat 1.

However.
Aunty decided to fix things.

Saturday morning breakfast at deli 9. Tuna Sandwiches and a thick chocolate shake.
One count of awesome.

Night, clubbing at TDS. Finished a bottle of Madera wine (insert pseudo wine talk - a nice bouquet, a deep color, an excellent spread on the palate, etc. Truth is I chugged and stuffed face with pretentious cheese and pineapple :P )
And danced like mad. We stayed there till they kicked us out.
Two counts.

Rode around Hyd. Had mango ice candy sitting along Hussain Sagar. Rode back.
Three.

Reached home, had thick chocolate cake. And the most awesome gifts ever. The 2 of them bought for me, a DK encyc on guitars, and a collection of designer posters. (Will put up scans soon. You HAVE to see it.) I LOVE my flatmates. How awesome are they. Seriously. Nonstop squee potential.
For those keeping score, that's FOUR counts.

Sunday morning. Noodles in the house, more cake, a cigarette that felt like heaven. I_ and A_ call up and say lunch at fusion 9 at Banjara hills. So nice it was. Met these women after my last fiasco (details not available). Chet and aunty joined up in a bit, the boy back from Indore. So on my birthday, I had a nice quiet lunch with my best friends, got a little beer in me too, and stuffed face with waffles and maple syrup.
Ooh yes, that's a strong FIVE.

Coffee at the women's new place, headed back home, and sat alone on the terrace for a while. Smoked another great cigarette, saw a hundred people flying kites, saw a Deccan flight have a shaky landing at the airport (so funny when you're not involved in another person's fear). Went downstairs, saw a BBCThree documentary on the otaku in japan. For the record, the new catchphrase is - moe (pronounced mo-eh). Totally squeeing over this documentary. I didn't know the BBC had a sense of humour :P
And a completely squeeworthy SIX.

Dinner was parceled in. Crashed after finishing reading the 2 Samurai Executioner books the we'd missed (8 and 9), and FINALLY finishing Chuck Palahniuk's "Haunted" (which has a hilarious afterword, you should check it out.) An old ex-best friend called up, we bonded. Today, mommy wished me properly too :P
Crashed to a fabulous number SEVEN counts of friggin' awesome.

I think I'll cry out of happiness :D

Woohoo!

(Sorry, forgot to take photos, but w/e, just be happy for me, alright?)

November 10, 2006

All your frowns...


...I made into one giant smile.




[Today's corny message probably because I've started generating estrogen. I'm not sure.]

November 09, 2006

[untitled]

[because I used Head and shoulders menthol shampoo today, I thought of you...]

My love for you is the song I heard once before going completely deaf.

The sight of a sunset the moment before I lost my vision, and was wandered to wander feeling my way through this and that, all in the memory of that perfect sight.

Your love was the feeling of walking across a bridge, before my feet lost their strength, and I was doomed to never know the joys of jogging to the sound of of my feet padding the ground.

My love for you is a yearning of grappling at time as it slips thru' my fingers, of sand that scatters across a void, of glass that melts between my digits.

My love is regaining my hearing, my sight, my feet, my one chance at getting back your love, and on realizing that the chance to step back is not possible, the utter despondency that I was better off with my memories.

I love you, for what you are, what you were, an unconditional yearning that makes me happier than a chance to step down a new path.

This fork is mine, is yours, and I'll gladly wait till nothing ever happens again.

Yours,
Pi.

thursday

Sharath Rao, one man I can respect, once told me that a man reinvents himself every 23 years.

Of course, he said this after his 23rd b'day, so it's probably a load of elitist self-important hooha.

But anyway.

----------------------------------------------------------------

The Eclipse IDE party was nice, unfortunately the sausagefest everyone thought it would be (except for the 2 hotties from ETV who wanted junta to dance so that they could get some footage. I know, sad.) I went unshaven, dirty sweater, and all... and got photographed. With my undies showing.
Seriously.
[Fuck.]

But anyway.

----------------------------------------------------------------

Picks and stuff - Nitin Sawhney's "Fragile Wind" from the album 'Human', my del.icio.us page (it's up!), Mukka's flickr page (I'm plugging this too much, I know, but the photos he takes are so PRETTY!), Arul Mani's retorts (one, two update- three!) to the numbskulls at bangalore torpedo (and mighty fine retorts they are :)...

Hang on right there.
Seriously, what the fuck was that torpedo blog post about anyway? Have they even ever met Arul? I have, and the fucker's a gentleman, well read, articulate, GENUINELY funny, and frankly, an awesome guy to be around. What the fuck provoked TBP to write something like this?


But anyway.

(Anyway what, you fuckhead?!)

Nothing. Not much to say recently :( Long post on Saturday, promise. And it might even have (shudder) 'content'.

Be afraid :P

November 07, 2006

As drunk as drunk can be... :))

Anybody in the mood for an Irish drinking song?
One that's bloody hilarious?
"The name of this song is 'Seven Drunken nights', but yer only allowed to sing five of them... so here goes..."

Download link.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

(thx chandru- boss, overlord, overall God)

November 04, 2006

Profundity

The smaller that your biggest problem is, the bigger that your smaller problems seem.

November 01, 2006

midday meandering

Kiran Bedi has a blog. Wow.
----------------------------------

Can I be crass,
And talk about your ass,
And then drool a little,
Please don't mind the spittle.

-------------------------------------
Apparently we taste like bacon. Hrmm.
-------------------------------------
The Eclipse IDE is celebrating it's 5th b'day across the world. Including Hyderabad. Next door. No really, NEXT friggin' door. As in, go downstairs, and it's NEXT DOOR. November 7th. I think I'll go, if only to laugh loudly at the humour of it all :) Eclipse.org is actually footing 1000$ of the bill!!! Ahahahahaha, and they're letting Indian software engineers join the party!
[collapses in laughter]

October 31, 2006

as long as you're bored...

  1. Go to orkut.com, click on search
  2. Click on users, then on change filters
  3. Gender - female, Location- India, Relationship status - single, Interested in - dating men.
  4. In the search field, type 'blogspot'. Click 'Search'.
  5. Visit the blogs of single, Indian women who want to date men thru' orkut.
  6. Understand exactly why I'm losing faith in humanity.

As a side note, typing 'livejournal' instead of 'blogspot' returns no entries. Interpret that as you may.

-----------------------------------------
The seven dirty words are recognized by Firefox' new spell check. Interpret THAT as you may.

October 30, 2006

Don't you be going judging me and all, I'm sure you've done worse before. Yes, I am SURE.

If there're any women here, I'd like some help with this. You know how losers on orkut (*cough*) are always bugging you to be their friands (sic) and etc etc, and they obviously come off as losers (*double cough*) and so on? I was wondering, is there a decent letter/scrap that WOULD make you consider being friends with them? Here's what I have so far. (Adjust according to context)

Hello.
I'd like to be your friend.
I think you're interesting, kinda nice, and I'm hoping you might like talking with me too. I apologize if this is coming off as creepy, but seriously, what better option would I have?
My name's *** and I'm a/an *** in ***. I was reading your blog/ reading your scraps/ saw you on a friend's blog/scrapbook / saw your photos and you seem really nice, in what little way the internet allows.
So yeah, you seem nice.

I'm just saying hello.


It would work, no?

[DISCLAIMER: No, fuckwads, I do NOT want to make friandship with anybody. I'm just curious.]

[this guy who's doing his exchange program at IIMB was down this weekend to hyderabad and...]

[aka micro- weekendroundup]

"So you're from NITK?"
Yeah.

"I've seen guys from there at IIMB."
Really?

"Really. They wear the tshirts and everything."
Oh.

"Um..."
Eh?

"..."
They're bastards, aren't they?

"Yeah :S"
Is ok. Trust me, I know. Some of them are friends.

"Really?"
Really.

"Ok."
Yeah.

"Saalon mein bahut ghamand hai yaar, unka problem kya hai?!"
[rotfl]

whatya.

They say you can't rhyme with 'o-range',
Being Indian, I find that quite stee-range.

[In response to this wikipedia article.]

October 27, 2006

Test post

Just trying to see if I can do something.

You know how livejournal junta have that lj-cut thingie, where they can click and see the rest of the text that's hidden. I don't like that approach *that* much, because really, all that link does is take you to a new page.

I wonder if I can javascript a better implementation on blogspot.
[if this doesn't work, boohoo, some other time]


Click HERE.

October 26, 2006

<3

On atheism...

I like the middle ground - I'm a Jesus fan, its a good book, and there is a lot to learn from it, but beer and sex are just so kickass...

[in the comments section on gapingvoid.com]

October 25, 2006

[random post]

[Testing Performancing for firefox 1.3.]

Yagabaga boo.
Onleeee Yoooo.
My luvvv is trooooo.

Can you feel it, babeeeeeeee
I hope you're ready, cause maybeeeeeeee...
we can all go out and get drunk.
and sunk. don't be a punk.

Onleeee [deep voice] yooooooooooo....

[applause]

Admit it, that was the most fun software test you ever saw :P


powered by performancing firefox

DilbertSpeak... literally

Scott Adams (Dilbert, etc) has an amazing post up.

(I'm guessing India readers are still unable to access typepad, so I'm going to just reproduce the whole post here, and hope no copyright bullshit hits me.)

Good News Day

As regular readers of my blog know, I lost my voice about 18 months ago. Permanently. It’s something exotic called Spasmodic Dysphonia. Essentially a part of the brain that controls speech just shuts down in some people, usually after you strain your voice during a bout with allergies (in my case) or some other sort of normal laryngitis. It happens to people in my age bracket.

I asked my doctor – a specialist for this condition – how many people have ever gotten better. Answer: zero. While there’s no cure, painful Botox injections through the front of the neck and into the vocal cords can stop the spasms for a few months. That weakens the muscles that otherwise spasm, but your voice is breathy and weak.

The weirdest part of this phenomenon is that speech is processed in different parts of the brain depending on the context. So people with this problem can often sing but they can’t talk. In my case I could do my normal professional speaking to large crowds but I could barely whisper and grunt off stage. And most people with this condition report they have the most trouble talking on the telephone or when there is background noise. I can speak normally alone, but not around others. That makes it sound like a social anxiety problem, but it’s really just a different context, because I could easily sing to those same people.

I stopped getting the Botox shots because although they allowed me to talk for a few weeks, my voice was too weak for public speaking. So at least until the fall speaking season ended, I chose to maximize my onstage voice at the expense of being able to speak in person.

My family and friends have been great. They read my lips as best they can. They lean in to hear the whispers. They guess. They put up with my six tries to say one word. And my personality is completely altered. My normal wittiness becomes slow and deliberate. And often, when it takes effort to speak a word intelligibly, the wrong word comes out because too much of my focus is on the effort of talking instead of the thinking of what to say. So a lot of the things that came out of my mouth frankly made no sense.

To state the obvious, much of life’s pleasure is diminished when you can’t speak. It has been tough.

But have I mentioned I’m an optimist?

Just because no one has ever gotten better from Spasmodic Dysphonia before doesn’t mean I can’t be the first. So every day for months and months I tried new tricks to regain my voice. I visualized speaking correctly and repeatedly told myself I could (affirmations). I used self hypnosis. I used voice therapy exercises. I spoke in higher pitches, or changing pitches. I observed when my voice worked best and when it was worst and looked for patterns. I tried speaking in foreign accents. I tried “singing” some words that were especially hard.

My theory was that the part of my brain responsible for normal speech was still intact, but for some reason had become disconnected from the neural pathways to my vocal cords. (That’s consistent with any expert’s best guess of what’s happening with Spasmodic Dysphonia. It’s somewhat mysterious.) And so I reasoned that there was some way to remap that connection. All I needed to do was find the type of speaking or context most similar – but still different enough – from normal speech that still worked. Once I could speak in that slightly different context, I would continue to close the gap between the different-context speech and normal speech until my neural pathways remapped. Well, that was my theory. But I’m no brain surgeon.

The day before yesterday, while helping on a homework assignment, I noticed I could speak perfectly in rhyme. Rhyme was a context I hadn’t considered. A poem isn’t singing and it isn’t regular talking. But for some reason the context is just different enough from normal speech that my brain handled it fine.

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick.
Jack jumped over the candlestick.

I repeated it dozens of times, partly because I could. It was effortless, even though it was similar to regular speech. I enjoyed repeating it, hearing the sound of my own voice working almost flawlessly. I longed for that sound, and the memory of normal speech. Perhaps the rhyme took me back to my own childhood too. Or maybe it’s just plain catchy. I enjoyed repeating it more than I should have. Then something happened.

My brain remapped.

My speech returned.

Not 100%, but close, like a car starting up on a cold winter night. And so I talked that night. A lot. And all the next day. A few times I felt my voice slipping away, so I repeated the nursery rhyme and tuned it back in. By the following night my voice was almost completely normal.

When I say my brain remapped, that’s the best description I have. During the worst of my voice problems, I would know in advance that I couldn’t get a word out. It was if I could feel the lack of connection between my brain and my vocal cords. But suddenly, yesterday, I felt the connection again. It wasn’t just being able to speak, it was KNOWING how. The knowing returned.

I still don’t know if this is permanent. But I do know that for one day I got to speak normally. And this is one of the happiest days of my life.
Wow. Neat.

Firefox 2.0 released

Firefox 2.0 is here. Am testing it now. Go download, if you want (which you should. Arrr.)

October 23, 2006

An instant from waking life

(random post, because I CAN, Ha!)

Notice the detail in the rotoscoped image.

The Cutout levels are diferent from object to object. The forehead has 5 (so I'm assuming a threshold of 8) and the wall has 3-4, with edge fidelity varying all over the image. It's definitely been retouched manually, so that means that every frame of Waking life must have been retouched, or atleast validated manually.
Notice the deliberate placement of vector art across the frame. The star in the moddle (obviously), the guy's hair (the tufts would've been absorbed otherwise) the definition of the lips, etc.

Manual borders for objects, their polygon simplificaltion algorithms must be really cool to get borders like that AND prevent bleeding across frames. Sure, more manual here, but still...

Anyway, so I'm still dying to watch Scanner Darkly, which *apparently* takes rotoscoping to a new level.

(pic thanks to Andy)

WeekendRoundup

(not much, really)

Bedridden with a fuckall fever, now much better.

Bought the new Evanescence disc, The Open Door, very nice.

Listening to hajar Nepali rock as well (thanks Aunty!)

Other listens - Bruce Springsteen, Nelly Furtado, Sigur Ros (love it), Nitin Sawhney, Genesis, Susheela Raman (orgasm), Lucky Ali, etc etc.

[I'm ripping 4 cds from Chetri's collection every day, and I've been doing this for the past full week. Do the math.]

Job's good. Busy. Still liking it (thank god).

Am promoting self from Javascript n00b to DemiGod.

Am still too embarassed to meet I_ and A_ after being an asshole a week ago. Eh. Story of my life.

Caught myself thinking seriously about hiking across India sometime next year. You're welcome to join me. I'm thinking February. Also thinking about going to Nepal in January. You're not welcome to join me.

Have decided to put "Aerials" on personal Top10 most awesome screamOutAloud songs of all time (this list also includes RATM's 'Guerrila Radio' and Met's 'Hero of the day', in case you wanted to know)

Have found myself subconsciously susbstituting 'ch' for 'k' sounds and 'jh' for 'g' sounds aand vice versa (bastard ketri!)

Still more or less happy.

How was your weekend?

October 20, 2006

Piercing eyes, my ass

Peejay time! New age definition for 'buttmunch' - Something that happens without your knowledge, and is sure to come back years later to bite you on the ass.

Like this. Read all the comments there too. Christ. I didn't know people would be so stupid.
I know I look like a child rapist, so you don't have to remind me.
Ganja says - "you have such an arsefaced look in the pic too".
Like duh. After this photo was taken, I literally ran home for a haircut and a shave. Even the sideburns are gone. Promise.
Why would people even say things like this for such an ugly photo of an ugly person? Am I right everytime I complain the world is filled with douches?

Later. *scowl*

October 19, 2006

7 brides for 7 brothers


The C.A.U.S.E foundation is putting up a stage production of the most awesome retro movie 7 brides for 7 brothers (know to hajar bollywood fans as Satte Pe Satta) . Will hopefully be a great show, do try to make it if you're in Bangalore at the time.


Date - 27th, 28th, 29th and 30th October 2006, 7.15pm
Venue - Chowdiah Memorial Hall, Bangalore
Tickets - Rs.299, Rs.199, Rs.99
Available at - Supermarket (Brigade Road), Rendezvous (Mosque Road), Friends Fast Food (Koromangala), Fab India (Indiranagar)

Email Jacob Ninan for more details.
jacob9n (at) gmail (dot) com

October 18, 2006

SOAD

As the century nears its formidable end, our global experience of universe proportions, predicted by many greats will arrive at our solar system, to our system of a down. Authoritarian oppression, family abuse, depression caused by conformity, and economic devastation will be neutralized by technological terrorism in times of complete chaos. Control will never again be gained for. tolerance will become extinct. A husband quarrelling with his wife will not think twice or regret his spent bullet. Hungry children will not spare the grocer remorse in all forms will be removed from human thoughts and actions. Freedom will only be available through revolution or death. This system of a down is unavoidable as life on this planet becomes unnecessary.* The hand has five fingers, capable and powerful, with the ability to destroy as well as create. We have the power to stop and reverse the tides of time by making our awareness of abuse known to the powers of industry and their uncouth political arms. Only by raising this awareness and promoting personal peace within todays self-defeatist society, can we allow the planet a chance to avoid self-destruction!

OPEN YOUR EYES. OPEN YOUR MOUTHS. CLOSE YOUR HANDS AND MAKE A FIST.

October 11, 2006

...

"Hey there, I'm Randy!"
...

I swear, sometimes white-people jokes don't even need punchlines :)

[sorry no long posts for a while, but having hajar fun at work. Such a loser I am :P ]

October 10, 2006

What's he got that I ain't got?!

Mukka's going on a photo binge in France, coming up with some really stunning photos. Go, look, I command thee. I particularly like this one.

[bonus points if you can guess the connection with the title. Ha!]

...

I'll tell you this much about the MPD afflicted schizophrenic.
Atleast he's a people-person.

Haha.

October 09, 2006

Not really a googlewhack, but close enough

Apparently it's not such a common opinion. Phew.

(recently)

So it's been rough, the past couple of weeks. Having thrown myself into the job the best I can, a few things I've noticed about myself and this life.
I've been scowling more often. More often than I'd like to anyway. Frowns are commonplace too, and I've started listening to metal thinking gothy shitty ideas like pain and misery and how they give release to a fortunate few.
Remember how I used to say that I don't understand women? I think I've figured it out though. There's not that much that's a secret about them. They're phenomenally dumb. Painfully clueless.
Thank goodness we men are even worse. It'd be a pain to see men in charge of the world, and that'd be a totally miserable place to live in.

Oh wait.

Fuck. Whatever.

I'm growing sideburns too. Not as a way to look cool or anything, promise. Just. (and I might throw the 'ooh look at me, I look like a child rapist, boo!'argument here again, but that's boring now.)

I'm busy... with work. Actual, honest-to-goodness, occupational work. Which is new to me. Spending hajar time with manuals, discussing design concepts with the boss, late night javascript debugging (which is an absolute bitch, let me tell you).

So I'm tired, pissed off, bored, and counting pennies till the next salary.

Funny thing though?

Never been happier :)

Ha!

[Walking off to System of a Down playing 'Aerials'. Life is a waterfall || We drink from the river || Then we turn around and put up our walls...]

:O

Desipundit linked to me.

:O

:O

:O

Acceptance!

Ok, will quietly be humble and say thank you, Mr. Desipundit.

[PS- YAY!]

October 08, 2006

My first meme

[stolen from mad_madrasi, just because I liked it]

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
That I really need more facial hair. I'd like to look a little more rugged.

2. How much cash do you have on you?
1.4 grand. Withdrew money for clubbing last night, till someone decided to be a sourpuss and totally made us ditch the plan. Hmph.

3. What's a word that rhymes with DOOR?
More.

4. Favorite planet?
(fictional allowed, I hope) k-pax. I want to see the movie again. They seem to be on hallucinogens the whole time.

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?
I_. I think she'd called because she figured the whole world was a little messed up and she needed some sanity. Yes, I recognize the irony.

6. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone?
Tring Tring Tring FUCK! Tring. Ok, it's not on mine, but I really really want it after I heard it somewhere.

7. What shirt are you wearing?
Half sleeves, buttons, dark blue pinstripes on white. Westside. My most formal one.

8. Do you label yourself?
Yeah. I'm Ludolphian. *chuckle*

9. Name the brand of your shoes you're currently wearing?
Reebok canvases. Urban casualwear, or so I'm told. They go well with everything.

10. Bright or Dark Room?
Um, dark, I think. Great for drinking, music, and nostalgia.

11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
mad_madrasi's kinda nice. Just started reading her. She seems normal, and therein lies the beauty, I think.

12. What does your watch look like?
No watches. Can't stand them. Also am superstitious about them.

13. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Mugging the prototype library reference. ("ELL!")

14. What did your last text message you received on your cell say?
'Dude, I really didn't mean to be condescending. Apologies if my qn sounded rude. I need to lighten the eff up.'

15. Where is your nearest 7-11?
Foodworld's an equivalent in India, yes? About 2 kms. There;s a shopping mall right next door though.
[sudden urge to go geek out on the xbox demo there]

16. What's a word that you say a lot?
'Hilarious'.

17.Who told you he/she loved you last?
Dad.

18. Last furry thing you touched?
The leftover biryani in the fridge. Yuck.

19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days?
One glass of rum, lots of tobacco, and one paracetomol.

20. How many rolls of toilet paper do you currently have in the house?
Zilch. Mug bucket, yo.

21. Favorite age you have been so far?
Seven. It was fun knowing nothing about the world.

22. Your worst enemy?
The fear of lung cancer. Or cirrohsis. heh.

23. What is your current desktop picture?
Pencils down, a photo that I took.

24. What was the last thing you said to someone?
"I give up".

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly what would it be?
The money. Can then take a long break and jumpstart the writing career (if there is one to be made, atleast).

26. Do you like someone?
... I'm not sure. I think I might want to be with her, but that could just be desperation talking. As of now I only want pants to jump :P

27. The last song you listened to?
Gravedigger- Dave Matthews

28. What time of day were you born?
I think around 4:30 am.

29. What's your favorite number?
142857.

30. Where did you live in 1987?
Sogath, Iran. Dad was practising there at the time.

31. Are you jealous of anyone?
Nobody anymore. It's easy to pick flaws when you're around them for short periods of time. They stop being envy-worthy after that.

32. Is anyone jealous of you?
Can't say. I think my flaws are obvious from a mile away anyway :)

33. Where were you when 9/11 happened?
Home. Saw the second flight hit in realtime. I think I said 'fuck!' in front of mom for the first time then.

34. What do you do when vending machines steal your money?
Cuss. Loudly. Especially the magazine dispensing machine in airports.

35. Do you consider yourself kind?
Not exceptionally. Kind is overrated, no?

36. If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be?
Back of the right shoulder. This image, maybe.

37. If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be?
Esperanto. Would be fun, I think.

38. Would you move for the person you loved?
Yeah. Wait, am I getting to jump her pants? Just asking.

39. Are you touchy feely?
Not at all.

40. What's your life motto?
Deconstruct, Analyze, Obfuscate, Present.

41. Name three things that you have on you at all times?
Credit cards, my phone, emergency cigarette.

42. What's your favorite town/city?
Aye, Tokanui in New Zealand. I REALLY want to go back some day. Sheep 'loll' on hills there.

43. What was the last thing you paid for with cash?
Pack of smokes. Forgot matches. Dammit.

44. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it?
I've never written a letter that was posted.
(Um, faintly remember writing one to pinky and Sweety when I was 14, I think.)

45. Can you change the oil on a car?
Nope.

46. Your first love: what is the last thing you heard about him/her?
That she's happy in Bangalore, busy with work, and sometimes thinks fondly of me.

47. How far back do you know about your ancestry?
2 generations. Skip a lot of notches in the middle, and you'll land up with a bunch of potbellied old guys in Goa flashing their privates to passing ships. Disturbing.

48. The last time you dressed fancy, what did you wear and why did you dress fancy?
Sweety's wedding a couple of weeks back. Black sherwani, clean shaven. And YET I managed to get an aunt to ask me why I wasn't wearing traditional mojdi, or some such shit.

49. Does anything hurt on your body right now?
Right knee. I have a bruise there too, can't remember how it got there. Probably while crossing the road or something.

50. Have you been burned by love?
No. Does this make me less special?

October 07, 2006

Nagraj Vs. Shakoora The Magician

I can't believe I kept this as a draft and forgot to publish. Anyway, welcome to the crossover of the century, where DC, Marvel and Raj comics fight off Shakoora.

Mighty lol-worthy, to me atleast.

http://www.alanhunt.ca/images/nagraj/

And like the psychos at scans_daily, I suppose I'll give you a sample panel too.

"What's all this happening?" Hehe.

TechieRant

I'm sorry, but am I the only guy who's confused by the number of javascript libraries out there? As this really well compiled list says, there are more than 50 options. FIFTY?! Whittled down even by category, it's way too much. (And it hasn't even mentioned solutions like Tibco's great GeneralInterface product. WYSIWYG-style AJAX interface design, how cool is that?) And sure, the argument is that there can be n-hajar libraries, and it doesn't matter because they're usually small, cacheable, and most importantly server generated, so there're no cross-browser, cross-platform problems. Which is all fine and dandy, aye, but jeezus, what's a developer like me to do? I have very little opinion when it comes to this, and I usually go for one that seems easy, goodlooking, and deployable fast. In fact, I've already decided on prototype+ script.aculo.us+ behaviour for this blog as soon as I hit the new beta blogger, but I can't seem to decide what to do at work, where the choice of libraries will probably affect a lot of things. And mind you, I went thru' a lot of the demos and each one seems to be quite as cool as the previous one. Aaargh!

Phew. Needed to get that out of my system.

PS- Not impressed with Dojo. Sorry, but I'm going to wait till it hits production level before I do comment more on it.

Update: looks like prototype has a nice little $$ function which does the same thing as behaviour.js. So just prototype+scriptaculous should do fine.

Tuckle?!

When the world ends
Collect your things
You’re coming with me
When the world ends
You tuckle up yourself with me
Watch it as the stars disappear to nothing
The day the world is over
We’ll be lying in bed

Dave Matthews Band, 'When the world ends' - From the Matrix Reloaded soundtrack.

You gotta love a guy who uses the word 'tuckle' :)
Really nice song. Lyrics here.
Ok, now work.

October 06, 2006

...

Beatzo has updated his gallery of original comicart over at comicartfans.com. Go give it a look see. And from one who's seen the the actual pieces up close, I can promise you that I am truly, completely, insanely jealous. Dammit.

MCP, sure.

What the heck is wrong with you women? Can't you all, for once, be nice, understanding, passionate but practical, engaging but subdued, interesting, wild, deep, intense, intimate, hard-to-get, intelligent, emotionally available, personal, chatty, freeminded, clean, funny, commited, loving, all round perfect?

That, or you could do a naked belly dance in front of me once in a while. I'm not too particular.

October 05, 2006

George, he's like.... AKA ContextIsForTheWeak

(title cccf: scans_daily)

Today's Hyderabad Times has an article on it's front page (which is basically page 250something if you start with the actual paper, which should anyway be used as toi-let paper, but has too much shit to take anymore anyway, etc, etc.) called "George on women, Oscars...." (yes, four dots) Anyway, it's on *ok* article, with 3 quotes by George Clooney that quite stand out in a completely unintentionally funny way if you remove context-

"I want to spend every single night for 3 months going out with a different actress. You know, Halle Berry one night, Salma Hayek the next, and then walk on the beach holding hands with Leonardo DiCaprio"
So Leo's an actress. Hmm.

"[Cate Blanchett]'s the best actor working today. Not actress, she's an actor."
Double Hmm.

" I think [Clive Owen]'s a movie star. He's, like, a man."
Hmm overload.

The rest, readers, I leave to you. Heha!

----------------------------------------

PS- Little Pinkie asks this of Youtube - "Why would they want to put up Paris Hilton's sex video AND Paris Hilton's dog's sex video? Maybe we should be thankful it wasn't Paris Hilton and her dog's sex video" Amen.

[I just said 'sex video' thrice. Funny :) Later, folks! ]

Random photos




In no order = child rapist sideburns, feet off the ground, the new cabinet, and Insomnia (paid 40 bucks and found a one dollar bill folded right in it, no kidding).


Busy busy. Later.

October 04, 2006

If I was a fulltime obsessive blogger like so many other people on that crappy LJ, I would feel...

[and that's about a third of the time]

[and then I'd tell you what song I was listening to too, like that matters]

[and then the comment whores would appraoch]

[and I could answer each comment individually, making you feel special, and also raising my own coolness "personal touch" factor]

[cower at my overpowering coolness because I have HTML control, LJ dickwads!]

[CSS also!]

[Javascript!]
.
.
.
.
[But I can't have penguins :( ]

*sob*

September 30, 2006

.

No updates today. Am going home and cabbaging.
Yes, I do have a REAL life. Idiots. Besides, the goat's down from Chennai, and Ganja's heading in to Hyd tomorrow morning.

It's going to be a party :)

Later.

September 29, 2006

KANK

thebangaloretorpedo has it spot on.

So you liked the movie, eh? If only you knew...

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Cages- A tribute to Dave McKean Part 2 (of 2)

[scribbled on a tissue wednesday night]

This cage is just not a symbol!
keeps me in
keeps you out
THIS is why.
Really.
Take. My. Word. For. It
_________________
You think im missing the love, the peace, the joy, the happiness, the ecstacy, the euphoria, the fantasy, the times past, that i'm going to miss.
Heh. Seen enough.
This is why. Really.
____________________
Pass me a smoke, a stiff drink, a slow song, a balmy day, 3 cubes of ice, a night filled with stars, a horizon bursting with sunrise and i'll thank you.
THIS is why. This is why.

Venu...

Because you asked.

September 28, 2006

New blog on the horizon

XOXO
They're all just... letters.

Chica's already blogging up a storm there. I'll join up as soon as I get the time.

Cages - A tribute to Dave McKean - Part 1 (of 2)

This book is great. Go, buy.
Or not, w/e. Maybe the scans are available somewhere out there.

Dance baby, dance!

Clubbing always scares the bejeesus out of me.

Sorry. "cLUbbiN'".

All is good till I enter the place. Sure, I'd have managed to sucker some woman to go along with me so that 1. the cover charge is less 2. I don't like a desperate fool out to score in clothes that are nice, but aren't, you know, "threads". I enter and immediately get depressed. SO MANY hot women, so little to drink. The music means I can't have a half decent conversation with the new hottie I've just been introduced to. Of course, I hear the words "shopping" and "shoes" and promptly excuse myself to go grab a drink.

2 drinks down the line, I'm gearing up. I feel the need to dance. I head for the floor warily. There's a whole lot of movement happening over there, the lights are wild, and I'm sure I see body-on-body action happening in the corner.

Depressing, but I'm already here, so let's plunge in.

This is where the real problem starts.

You see, I'm afraid of any voice that comes from the speakers.

The percussion is in my ears, I'm doing the boogie as the music is taking me over. I'm entering this whole region of communal thought, losing control of body, mind, soul (in that order) when suddenly...

"PUT YOUR HANDS UP IN THE AIR!"

wtf?

"PUT YOUR HANDS UP IN THE AIR!"

er.

"ALL YOU MUTHAFUCCHAS PUT YOUR HANDS UP IN THE AIR!"

Fine, fine already! Hands up! Happy? [whimper]

"PUT YOUR HANDS UP IN THE AIR!"

[crying] But they're already up!

"SHAKE THAT BOOTY THANG!"

Jesus Christ.

"SHAKE THAT BOOTY THANG!"

...

"C'MON HO, SHAKE THAT BOOTY THANG!"

[wiggle wiggle]

"NOW TOUCH THE GROUND, GO DOWN, GO DOWN, GO DOWN"

...

'Pi, I like you as a friend, but please take your face out of my crotch'

I can't help it. The voices are telling me to do so.

"SAY OYE OYE!"

oye oye.

"OYE OYE!"

oye oye.

"OYE OYE!"

oye oye.

"WOULD YOU LIKE A DRINK, SIR?"

would you like a drink sir.

"Er, no, would YOU like a drink, Sir?"

Oh wait, that's just the waiter. Fuck no, I don't want a drink. Not unless the voice from the speaker tells me to.

"LET'S TALK ABOUT SEX, BABY!"

...

On second thought, let's have that drink. A large.
--------------------

The night comes to an end, and we walk out all tired and danced out. And the woman I'm with looks at me and goes "Wow, Pi, you must have really enjoyed yourself. You're actually smiling! That's so rare!"

Hey, I can't help it. I was only following orders.

September 27, 2006

I want more people to read my blog

[UPDATE: I suppose this post is now redundant, now that desipundit has managed to get my statcounter to orgasm :) Thanks DP, I'm quite kicked.]

As non-pretentious as I can be, I'm telling you this - I want more people to read my blog.

What can I do?

I can't change the way I write. So I'm eclectic, and I write on a whole lot of rubbish. Can't change that. I'd die if I didn't have the freedom. So sorry, can't be more topical.
I'm not going to go comment on random people's blogs and lead them back here. That's just cheating.
God, no blogrings, please.

So yeah, what can I do?

I want more people to read my blog.

Help.

Dear B'dayGirlYesterday...


... I saw this and thought of you.

[From gapingvoid.com]

Snot

Deal with it.

Put a finger into your nose, scratch it out from the inside of your nostril. Pull out what you can, with the thumb providing the grip as it slides out.

If it's crackly and dry, feel the way it bends between your digits. breaks up into little human mucusy dust. See the cilial hair come out with it, and feel the relief of having a partially clean nose.

If it's wet and sqooshy, look at it stretch into viscous threads. Feel the stickiness. if it's white, be thankful. If it's yellow or green, I'm sorry you're a little ill. If it's anything else... hrmm.

It's snot. Go to the basin and snort out as much as you can. Wash it away and then use soap on your hands.

It's snot. It helps. Keeps out the bad shit.

It's snot. It's great to take it out, but it's a good thing it's there.

It's only snot, for God's sake.

Deal with it.

September 26, 2006

"How sweet"

Chica writes:

Oh I have to tell you.
Funny.
Remember the little white boy I was telling you about?
Well yesterday I'm entering the building, I'm on the phone and I see him. So I indicated a hello to him and carry on to the appartment.
About ten minutes later, the doorbell rings. I'm in the bathroom and I think it can't possibly be for me so I don't really bother. But the ringing continues. So I go to the door and say , 'What?'
The boy says, 'It's me aunty'. [probably thinking it's Sneha]
Anyway I get the key, open the door and say,'What?'
So he says, 'Are you alone?' I say 'Yeah'.
Then he says that he wants to tell me something, but I'll get angry. Now here I am edging away because I think he's either going to throw something at me or hit me and run or something. He notices and says, 'No, no. I'm not going to do anything' and moves back a step.
Then he continues that I might get really angry if he says what he wants to and I say, 'Well, it depends on what you're going to say'.
So he comes out with it and says,'I fell in love with you'.
So I go 'Ha ha' [mirthlessly] and then say 'How sweet'. [because it's expected]
And then he says, 'You're not angry?'
I say, 'No'.
And then he wasn't saying anything at all.
So I said, 'Ok, now go'.
And he goes.

There's more but maybe some other time.


I get the best letters ever :)

2 urban legends

Beatzo tells me of this urban legend that NITW is famous for. Apparently the college is situated right next to this notoriously violent town, but things used to be quiet with the students as long as they didn't mess with them. Anyway, the story goes that once some guy went and "fell in love" with one of the girls in this town, and the father of the girl found out.

(Sounds like Romeo and Juliet? Read on...)

So one night, a gang comes in thru' the connecting gate between the college and the town and walk into the mess where the boy's having dinner with his friends. They then switch off the lights, and there's a lot of noise which goes around. The lights come back on... and the boy is still in one piece. No bruises. No nothing.

Only, on his plate is the head of the boy sitting next to him.

Yeah, like that.

----------------------------


NITK has an urban legend too. We all heard it when we joined college. See, in the first block hostel is this room (77, 79, 89, can't remember the number, but w/e) that's not being used. It's filled with cots, broken chairs, etc, but the hostel authorites refuse to clean it out and give it to anybody. Why? Turns out that room has had quite a few suicides in it. Anyway, once this guy was staying in it (a fresher) and exams came and went, and this boy packed up his bags, preparing to leave. He goes up to his friends, asks them to come over to the railway station to drop him off, which they gladly do. They drop him, wave goodbye to the train, etc and head back to the hostel. They reach, and they're passing the boy's room (the guy who just left) when they notice it isn't locked. They walk in... and the boy is hanging from the fan.

Uh huh. I know. Freaked me too.

That room, since then, has never been given out to anybody.

Pi at age 7

http://freewebs.com/threepointone/peter.mp3

Statutory warning:
All the women out there, you'll be dying to jump my pants after this :P (I can hope)

September 25, 2006

Hitched!



Sweety married Whiteboy Greg, who turned out to be a really nice guy after all. Cool. So happy.

September 23, 2006

Escape (an experiment in fiction by me)

(Not for the weak of heart. Really. Please, if you get offended by strong content, stop right now. I don't want to ruin your day for you. For the others, carry on!)

The solution hit him on the way back home, actually. And it made him feel immensely happy, so much so he actually skipped (kinda) the rest of the way back.

See, life wasn't so great for our hero. A marriage that was just boring, a job that sucked ass, and a paycheque that *just* about paid the bills. Not really unusual, but he couldn't stand it, y'know? It was all so... normal.

He needed to escape. And now he knew how.

He climbed 4 floors, reached home, got in, locked the door again, and turned around. And for ther first time in 12 years of marriage he was actually glad to see his wife (they didn't have any children, thank you for asking). She asked him how the day was, but he knew she wan't really ever listening to whatever he said back. Today though, he said "Great!!"

She looked up in mild surprise. Our hero was never EVER in this good a mood.

The first punch he threw her was a very strong hook, caught her diagonally across the jaw. A satisying click/snap that could be nothing other bone breaking meant his day had just become better. An immediate adrenaline rush and a tingling in the back of his spine. Good good.

(You're welcome to stop reading this now. Don't say I didn't warn you.)

She landed on the floor in a whimper. He then systematically started pounding the living daylights out of her. In his head he just kept saying "make every blow count. Make EVERY blow count." He kicked in her nose and regretted not laying out sheets, but that wouldn't matter, duh. This was NOW man! And the sight of blood just confirmed his suspicion - that this was a good idea after all :D lol macha, lol.

Another kick to the back of her head seemed to make her unconscious, but he didn't really care. He wasn't looking for suffering, he was more interested in the release of a lifetime of inane bullshit. Anyway, atleast the bitch had shut up. He landed his knee down into her spine, and got up with her hand twisted behind her back now.

Twist. CRACK.

Oh YES.

Fuck, we might as well do the other hand. Heha! CRACK.

He stopped for a second when he realized he was humming the words to 'My generation'. The smile came back to his face, and he went inside the bedroom, came out with a cricket bat.

The bat was a GM, the kind that Steve Waugh used in his glory days. Very cool. Nice curves, 3 grips, lightweight, a satisfying echo anytime it connected with solid. Yup, he was testing that out right now.

He sat down on his knees and smashed her ankles in with the bat, just to make sure she couldn't run away. Which was stupid, because he'd already shattered both kneecaps. Ah, but whatever, it's his day, so let's not judge him.

(people try to get us down)

The sweat was pouring down his face now. And he was LOVING it. The ribs were now just toothpicks poking away at her innards. He guessed he'd killed her somewhere in between the head whacking and the indidual finger damage he'd administered, but again, he didn't really care.

When he felt the strength go out of him, he sat down a bit to catch his breath. Life was good.

(Why don't you all f-f-f-f-fail!)

He went inside, came out with the knives.

Another hour passed.

-------------

Our hero, self absorbed, tired, and with a bloodrush in his head that didn't seem to stop, lit up the blood stained cigarette on the balcony and wondered. Well, not really, he was screaming "Awesome, AWESOME" in his head. Like I said, don't judge.

He stepped up on to the railing, flicked away the cigarette and dived down.

(I hope I die, before I get old)

Escape.

Just a note

So all the music channels are promoting this chippie named Sona as "The first desi rock chick".
Fact- nothing special about the music.

FACT - NOT the first rock chick. And layering a half decent guitars and a predominantly postgrunge moody tone to the song does not a rock chick make.

The first 'desi rock chick' (I already hate the term) I saw was at Saarang, when Bangalore based Clockwork Orange performed live in the finals of the battle of the bands. (Decibel, I think it's called). The band has these 2 amazing women who totally rocked the stage. Samira Mohamed on vocals and Yasmin on drums.

Yasmin a goddess on the drums. She's a friggin' nonstop skinbanger the likes of which I've not seen ever again. About 8000 men fell in love with her right then.

Samira Mohamed had this outrageously orange outfit that made me giggle out quite loud. I suppose she thought it was a rock thing or something, and we'll let her keep thinking that, aye? :) But what a voice. What an awesome voice. Pumped up women singing rock renditions of "What's going on" is a major turnon.

I wanted to write more here, but I think this should do. :P The official band homepage is here, and you'll find samples on the RSJ GreatIndianRock collections of stuff they've done. Go, explore.

Are there any rock chicks that you've seen/heard? Write it out here in the comments, and we'll package off this whole post and send it to those idiots at MTV and Channel V. Seriously.

PS- Yes Ganja, Susheela Raman too.

September 22, 2006

*chuckle*

What did the tapori say when the hot accounting chick gave him the brushoff?

"Oyhoy, din mein spreadsheet, raat ko bedsheet?"

[true story :D]

September 20, 2006

[still cranky]

As a rule, I don't really like people.

People are dirty, inconsiderate beings. They're also all phenomenally stupid.

Yeah, you, me, the whole kaboose.

Don't even expect me to prove it. You already know what I'm saying is true.

Question is, what the fuck are we going to do about it?

---------------------------

Turns out you can even leave offlines in the meebo box. There's a pleasant thought. And without any way to track IPs, I suppose you could get away with saying a lot of stuff to me. Great. A fabulous way to start off the morning. Idiots.

---------------------------

A crazy wikipedia article on Mithunda's Disco Dancer. Do check out the memorable quotes section. Consider -
"He's got guitar phobia. A guitar killed his mother." - P.N. Oberoi
"Mother, I have my music. I will sharpen this music like a sword and stab the city's heart with it." - Jimmy

Hahaha.
---------------------------

I have discovered the truth. It is purple.
[Can you click on the FAQ button that disappears almost immediately? Is ok, here it is for the spaz'.]
---------------------------

[peejay alert]

If you grabbed Bluebeard's family jewels, would that mean you're hanging on to his pirate parts?

[toldyaso]

September 18, 2006

*Nasty nasty mood* AKA too many square brackets AKA a short story

Let's start at the very beginning,
A very good place to start.

"C'mon baby, lets go make 2 minutes of squelching noises" - Neil Gaiman, Sandman (Calliope)

"Well, that was fun." - Me

[chocolate, bicycles and GhayabAaya on doordarshan]

[interlude]

[insert many years of bullshit]

Unh, Unh, UNNHHHH!!!! ...

Damn, these stairs are tough to climb!

Gawk!
[death]

[mud]

[compost]

[greeting cards floating the wind, out of a door, onto the road. It lies]

~the end~


------------------------

PS- Alcohol's not working any more, and I'm not willing to go back to weed. Any suggestions?

[coffeebreak]

Added a meebo widget which means you can now bug me thru' my blog if I'm online. How awesome is that?

Shit. I'm going to regret this, aren't I?

BoringLiveblogging experiment Part 2


A wallapaper for you thankless farks. A little knowledge of hindu mythology might let you appreciate this a bit more.

Photography: Ramya
Ganesha pic: Googled.
Design concept, work, and the guy who goes to hell if the big G gets pissed: Me

BoringLiveblogging experiment Part 1

(Post as much/many as I can without bothering about what you think.)

Lunch's over, one mutton frankie and a sprite. Not a very good combo, the damn frankie starts repeating on you with lemony traces. Makes your mouth smell like a porn star (I think).
I've been accused of revealing too much to the world about what's in my head. Deleted some old posts on the blog because that psyched me. Are you judging me with my every word?
I hope so. I'd expect nothing less from you, because then I grant myself permission to judge you right back. Deal with it, douches.

No more Mr. Nice Guy.

September 16, 2006

It *should* lie beneath... mostly (AKA droolfest 2006)

Bought off the Raaz dvd a few days ago, and went thru' the whole thing tonight. The music's really bad, it's a bgrade version of an average english flick (though Pfeiffer was quite good in that) Bad acting, bad music, terrible screenplay, no suspension of disbelief at any point of time. Dino Morea is a pansy, Bipasha Basu is [tongue in throat gawking] and Ashutosh Rana tries hard to pull a good performance from a totally deadbeat character. He doesn't succeed.

Then again, I'm just nitpicking, because I only wanted to watch it for one reason. Malini Sharma. And she's a total delight to watch. Very neat portrayal of a psycho-neurotic-suicidal-intense woman. An absolute treat. She scared me more than once in the movie.

Oh, and she's a COMPLETE drool-a-licious hottie :P So without any futher ado (always wanted to say that], let's just put up 2 photos of her from the movie and keep staring at the screen.








*sigh*

*SIGH*

I really need to find out where she's disappeared.

PS- As a bonus, here's another photo from her early modeling days.


Hai khathor...

*triple sigh*

[mentioned previously here, and another great photo there too...]

Yes, I obsess about ONE celebrity. So what? Atleast she's not, y'know, Kareena Kapoor or somebody :P

Ok, goodnight now.

Ninjas vs Pirates

Debated since forever.
I think this seals it though. Kindly notice skinny arms/appendages.

PS- Yes, will shave soon.

September 15, 2006

[I give up]

Ladies and Gentlemen, the Oscar goes to...

[Thanks to perkypinkpirates.]

September 14, 2006

More pics from hyderabad

(quite a few, will take a bit to load. And the order's messed up a little, sorry.)



Doors. I don't like them. It's true.

Buddha. Respect, punks!

Satish Reddy, no names please.

Spot the ninjas. I dare you :P

Random. Consider it stock.

Juma Masjid, I think.

Scratchy itchy graffititchy. Charminar.

Charminar. Something, don't ask.

The way up. Charminar.



Beatzo took this. Stringing the guit with new phosphor brozes. Hyd maal. Plays well, nice tones (in case you wanted to know).

Charminar. Duh.

One more charminar. Better for wallpapers.


That's all.

September 13, 2006

RandomEgoWallpaper













(Sometimes, I really do)

September 12, 2006

A wall, a song, a reco

Let's break it all down.

The walls. Let's break it all down.

See the scratch become a groove become a crack become a door.

It's that easy. All you need is time and a spoon.

Break the walls, punk.

What're you waiting for?

---------------------------------------------

The chords for "Sajna" from 'Waisa bhi hota hai II', MY version-
(and it doesn't sound half bad, if you get the strumming patterns right)

Ex - 079900
Dx1 - 057700
Dx2 - 057070
Cx - 035050
Dx3 - 054030

Chorus -
|Ex |Ex |Dx1 |Dx2 |Cx |Dx3 |Ex |Ex |
Sajna... Aa bhi jaa.. Sajna..Aa bhi..Jaa ..

Verse -
|Ex |Ex |Dx1 |Dx2 |Cx |Cx |Ex |Ex |
Nahin... Dil Mera... Nahin... Dil Mera...

These should be the 2 repeating sequences throughout the song. Have fun.

PS- Marry me, Shibani. Wear that red dress every day and, um, night.
-----------------------------------------------


The song for the week is Kailash Kher's "Teri Deewani".
Go now and buy the cd. "Kailasa". Initially just the name of the album, it's now also the name of the band Kailash Kher sings for. And they're great.
The cd's 175 Rs. if you want to compare, that's about 3 1/2 beers.
However, worth about 10 beers, if you're talking the buzz. Go now, buy. You'll thank me.
[I obviously like the album. On repeated play for 2 days now.]