"'Truth is strange," you know, "stranger than fiction' - besides being more to the point" - Edgar Allan Poe

August 31, 2005


Temple of the Dog.

Sounds terrible as a bandname, eh?

Surely, on first glance, it's obvious that a bunch of prepubescent boys who knew how to play 3 power chords (in dropped-d, that too) and wanted to impress those gothic chicks in class, decided to use the family pull in the music business and record an album.

But 'temple of the dog'? Man, that sucks.

Hell, I'm expecting screeching guitars and vocals that'll go "ooooh, baaaybeeee, we're so kool and let's touch the sky, bye, bye, bye..."

Look at the song names, wouldya?

"All night thing."

"Call me a dog." (And then erect a temple maybe?)

"Reach down." (Where's a parental advisory sticker when you need one?)

And Mukka/Ganja actually listen to this? Hell, let's give it a shot.

(twenty minutes later)


August 30, 2005

New shit


Mulholland Drive - Dir: David Lynch. Stellar performances all round, with a surprisingly brilliant histrionic display by Naomi Watts. Totally trippy, and requires about 3 to 4 'watches' to actually comprehend what happens in the movie. (PS- Keep your eyes open for the lesbian lovescene. Yum :) )

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas - Johnny Depp becomes a madman. All round funny.

This is Spinal Tap - A spoof rockumentary. PissInPants funny. Listen to the lyrics of 'Big bottom'. (Yes, the song is about a big bottom. Velvety cheeks, and all that.)

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind -Title off an A.Pope poem (Sorry Mukka). Highly recommended. Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet show some brilliant on screen chemistry. I can finally forgive her for the Titanic debacle (while Leo was already granted a place in 'the forgiven' because of The Beach)

Annie Hall - Overrated as a cult/bestever comedy flick. I'm afraid a lot of 'normal junta' just won't get the Allen-ish brand of humour ("I refuse to be a member of a club that'll have me as a member"- Ok, that's Marx, but still.) However, still an excellent watch, and Diane Keaton is gorgeous as ever.

BeforeSunrise/BeforeSunset - Marry me, Julie! Richard Linklater and Co. at their scriptwriting best.

SouthPark - Bigger, Longer, Uncut - if you can figure out the pun in the title itself, you can get an idea what the movie's about, atleast the type of humour propounded. Get a few guys over, a lot of beer, and laugh your ass off.


Planetary - Ganja forced me to read this, and turned out to be quite nice after all. Story flies all over the place, giving another twist to quantum multiverses (hey, I'm a nerd, and love this sort of thing). Somewhat gimmicky(like the Batman special), but easily forgiven.

From Hell - Alan Moore's 600 page masterpiece. Hell yeah! Look out for all the freemason trivia. Not for the weak of heart.

TopTen/SMax - Again, Alan Moore. Funy, clever, typical Moore (atleast, what I think is 'typical'). Pro-AlternativeOrientation references. A brilliant social commetary for the late 20th century lifestyle.

V for Vendetta - Moore. Very 1984/BNW-ish. Asks the question, "Would you support anarchy, despite a morbid choice of method?" Excellent for personal introspection, or so I thought.

The killing joke - Moore's Batman masterpiece. The joker's roots revealed. Felt such a nicotine need after I finished. Like good sex, eh? (Wish I knew, but that's another story altogether.)

Batman - YearOne, DK1, DK2 - All Frank Miller. And it shows. I love stories which make one go "OhFuck, I never saw that coming!" DK1 recommended for all Batfreaks. Hell, recommended to all who love a good yarn.

Spidey/Wolverine/Xmen issues - about a hundred, and then I lost count. Spidey's got the best quips in the business, and Wolverine is surely the kind of guy we'd like to share a beer with. Highlight- Ultimate Spidey #67 by Brian Bendis, where Spidey and W exchange bodies. Hell, I don't remember laughing so much for a comic. (Actually I do, but I'm not sure psychedelic Champak stories count. )

SinCity - I'll let you borrow it, if you promise to wipe the drool off when you return it. How does FM do this?


Hell, where do I even start? Tell you what, the next post will be a complete music review. It takes a while to go through 10 gigs of new music.

Mukka, Ganja, Kini - (Sashtanga Namaskara). Thank you.

In other updates-

-Finally putting some work together for the RJ demo tape.
-Madras is truly the most bizarre city I've ever been to. And not in a nice way. Thank god for friends.
-I_, is it almost time to say goodbye? Just maybe. Do let me know if this is what you're feeling.

And now, back to the grind.

August 25, 2005

Sony/Toshiba abandon efforts to standardise DVD formats. It's VHS vs Betamax all over again. Looks like Sony has the edge here.

Google finally enters the telecom arena with GoogleTalk - free internet telephony, IM, the works. Available now only for US based Gmail users. Also, they're planning a 3.28 billion dollar public offering soon. Is it my imagination or are these guys slowly becoming evil? Something doesn't fit.

Oh yeah, recommended picks-

WaiterRant - Funny shit.

Wired news - Cool. Very cool.

And that's that. Goodnight.

August 22, 2005

Oh yeah!

FreedomJam2k5 dates announced.

Ps- Still busy.

August 18, 2005

Tired. Very tired.

Sorry for the delay. No time for a full fledged blog, so just an update on life.

Currently tripping on-

Freakonomics – Very cool.

The google blog – The life and tales of the coolest nerds on the planet

Ritchie Blackmore’s Rainbow

Frank Herbert’s ‘Dune’ (The office is swamping me and hence I'm plodding along at some 20 odd pages a day. Shameful.)

Konfabulator – Widget heaven!

Blogger for Word (Now make MSWord a blogging client!)

Thus Spake I updated

August 13, 2005

Wotrashi -2 update

S_R_ gave the speech I wrote for him. And he called me later to tell me that it went well. Really well. So good that he actually won a ribbon for 'best speaker'. And his speech was considered 'innovative, fresh and funny'.

I'm glad I made the man happy. Looks like it's a good thing to do stuff for friends and letting them take the credit for it. Made me feel really good. Anytime, S_. As long as you buy me a smoke later, eh?

A ribbon. Giggle.

(Exploder- Audioslave)

I met a man locked away
for things he hadn't done
innocence on a ball and chain
he'll never feel the sun
again on his face
roses in his hands
but when he smiled at me
i could understand

if you're free you'll never see the walls
if you're head is clear you'll never freefall
if you're right you never fear the wrong
if you're head is high you never fear at all

there was a daughter of a man
who took his life too young
she swore she'd never do those things
then did just what he'd done
and a boy whose gone insane
heard voices in his head
no one knows what they say
now his mothers dead

if you're free you'll never see the walls
if you're head is clear you'll never freefall
if you're right you never fear the wrong
if you're head is high you never fear at all

there was a man who had a face
it looked a lot like me
i saw him in the mirror and i followed him in the street
then when he turned away i shot him in the head
then i came to realize i had killed myself

if you're free you'll never see the walls
if you're head is clear you'll never freefall
if you're right you never fear the wrong
if you're head is high you never fear

[Nothing like listing to audioslave during office hours :) ]

Wotrashi -3

(This one's for I_)

The cloud had finally decided to leave the city of Bangalore to itself, for just one night. And the stars poured out their liquid brilliance, as if an era had passed without it's presence, and in an effort to make up for this absence, these lighted dots opened up a celestial portal to the sky, and offered a million people company in the still of the night.

And what of this 'still'? Well, the quiet spread through each bangy's body like a live current, and like we all know, the quiet of the night is much louder than the quiet of the day (EE) and gave company to a city deprived of good company for so, so long. And the music of the light played on, without rhyme or reason, and yet both.

And I walked up the stairs to the open terrace, and talked to all my good friends I'd missed- the gentle whisper of the wind, the subdued glow of a night that refuses to sleep, Mr. and Mrs Goosebump (and all of their extended family, playing my body like a Blind man's War and Peace), Joe Satriani doing "Starry night", and good ol Honeedyou Kings. And the music played on, in my head, with the leaves, in the shadows that the streetlights threw on passing strangers, be it man or animal, with brilliant backing vocals by the growls of a million more insects. It played on...

And while a minor allegro was building up in my head, I felt the urge to touch the sky, and taste all the liquid starlight on my palate. So I raised my arms and started moving... slowly at first, and my hips joined in, and soon I was running all around the terrace, like a kid in his makebelieve aeroplane ("Cleared for takeoff, junior. Get me back a souvenir from the Bahamas, wouldya?") and the rush of life that was overwhelming, nay, choking me to a point of confusion without parameter. And I'm dizzy, falling while standing, spinning while being very still indeed. Is it my imagination, or was I just saying "Wheeee..."?

And I look across the colony, and on the neighbour's roof, omigod, there's another guy with his hands reached out to the sky, and he's rushing about too, and I can hear the faint echo of him saying it too, the high pitched "Wheee...". And on another roof, and another, and another, and the whole city is up on their roofs, running about, and the silent crescendo is building up to a climax that'll come too soon, no matter when it comes. And we're all going "Wheee....". A great night to be alive!

So now I retire to bed, disregarding all worry and feeling great. Why? Because tonight I touched the sky. And if in your part of the world, if you hear what sounds like a little boy saying "Wheee..." in his sleep, that'll be me.


The sun rose. And life went back to normal, which we all know, is a total bitch.

August 11, 2005

"And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music."

-- Nietzsche

[Thanks to Dina Mehta]

August 10, 2005

Goofballs United

Sri, Myself And Mac- Koramangala, 6th August.
Good times. And the vodka was sweet.

(Yes, I'm skinnier than a stick.)

Dear Dad,

There is probably no more terrible instant of enlightenment than the one in
which you discover your father is a man--with human flesh.

-from "Collected Sayings of Muad'Dib" by the Princess Irulan

Dune, by Frank Herbert

Wotrashi -2

[This is a speech I helped a friend of mine write yesterday as part of his toastmaster's induction. The first speech, called an 'icebreaker' is basically an introduction of the speaker to the club; this is what we came up with.]

It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the Emperor has no clothes.
But the half-wit remains a half-wit, and the Emperor remains an Emperor.

Good Morning one and all,

Surely it’s not a virtue to procrastinate, yet this, I must admit is one of my vices. Don’t hold it against me, I thankfully keep my deadlines and manage to give a jolly good show when it is required. My ‘Icebreaker’ speech I now lay before the toastmaster’s club for your approval. I begin with a brief introduction of myself, so listen closely if you don’t want to miss the lurid details.

I was born in the mountain village of Ra ‘His Kal, a southern province of the Narniac range. I learnt the traditional sword fighting techniques from the Elder ones, and by the time I was 9 I slayed my first cow. In the cleansing that followed in the deceased cows blood for the next 7 days and nights, I was taught the scriptures of ancient wisdom as is passed down from generation to generation in the only allowed manner- as my father spoke the words of deep and profound meaning into my ear, I was welcomed into the brotherhood of men, and I was no longer a child from that day forth. My father was very proud indeed, for now his heir-apparent was privy to the sacred ritual of goat milking that our tribe was renowned for across the Great Desert. And when the 12th moon had passed after that, I was given nothing but a goat-skin canteen, bread, cheese and lady luck. And I set off on the dusty trail as every young man must, to seek my fortune and make my destiny. In the years to follow, I read many wise books and saw many a strange sight. In the nights, with but a stylus and many sheets of papyrus, I translated Dante’s Inferno into 3 separate languages, including Barrachan, the words of which must only be read and never spoken aloud, or so the elders say. I have scaled the walls of that structure called the lady of liberty in the disunited states of yonder, and must say the view from her crown is one to behold. I saved the lives of young tiger cubs in the harsh unforgiving Sahara, and fed them with my own bare hands while the desert storm raged around us. When I aged to be 15, I had figured out the solutions to end poverty, famine, disease, pollution, cancer and plague and had realized the answers to bring about world peace and prosperity… unfortunately, my sheets of papyrus were stolen by bandits in Ramgarh to be used to heat their rancid bowls of soup.

[10 second pause]

Of course I’m kidding, who’d you expect, Superman?

My name’s S_ R_. I’ve been born and brought up in Bangalore, and have lived a peaceful life forever. My primary, high school and pre-university education were in schools and colleges you’ve definitely heard about, and passed by without a second glance; yet to me they signify years of torture and punishment. I’ve played our national pastime cricket and become a master at the other national pastime, namely sledging. My daily routine for the past ten years include rigorous channel surfing, burping and trips to the fridge. I’ve troubled every boyfriend my sister brought home for parental approval, and hence have been extremely girlfriend-less forever. I didn’t mind it too much, I had time for other educational experiences, and I am of course talking about video games and the internet. If there’s anything I’ve learnt from my elders, it’s to leave wet towels on the floor and never leave a tip for a waiter. The books I’ve read are profound and deep, especially the ones where Jughead always gets the better of Reggie. Sidney Sheldon, John Grisham and Dan Brown have taught me the essential principles of life- that if you’ve got a half baked idea with the words ‘thriller’, ‘suspense’ and ‘murder’ in them, you can make a million dollars overnight by making a half baked story about it.

I like listening to all types of music – be it the stomach churning lyrics of Cradle of Filth, or the melodious tunes of Tchaikovsky. I also have influences ranging from Upendra’s “15 to 20 danger” to the street talk of Eminem and his profanities. I tried learning to play the drums for three months, but gave up when I realized I had no talent… besides, I needed an actual pair of drums, and the tablas I was playing with were wearing thin.

I’ve been an English Movie buff all my life. My all time favourite movies include Ben Hur, Schindler’s List, and Meet the Parents. We all have dreams, and one of my dreams is to see my name on the silver screen someday, as the director of a major movie, sold out to crowds across the world. The real dream? That this movie would be one in a series of cinematic adaptations of the Ramayan and MahaBharat. Far fetched? Maybe, but that’s the power of dreams, my friends; to take an imagination and make it reality.

My parents love me… which is why they take a one month trip to a European locale every year, just to get away from me. Don’t get me wrong, I love them too. They’ve always supported me all through my life, and shared my happiness and sorrow alike. They’ve always let me make my choices throughout my life, and though this might mean that I’m still confused about which path to choose, I’m atleast happy that I have the freedom to make my own choice of path… and truly I’m happy to say that I’m satisfied with these choices, and owe a lot of this freedom to Mom and Dad.

My sister’s a perpetual oddball, and this was always reflected in her colour of nailpolish. I love her too, because she’s always taught me to fight society and be whatever it was I wanted to be. Too bad she doesn’t know I want to become a gynecologist.

And that’s my story so far, Ladies and Gentlemen. I like the person I’ve become. And I’m unsure of the future, as many of you must be too. I have hopes and dreams, admire the past and the future, have tasted success and failure, justified the pros and cons of my life, been an optimist and pessimist, been a skeptic and a believer, and season my meat with salt and pepper.

But seriously, that’s all there is to me. I’m you’re average Joe, a guy on the street. I’d like to finish my speech with a story I recently heard…

[Some story meant to distract the audience]

I’m done for now. Over to the MC.

August 09, 2005

Rags to NikeRipoffs

Considering that this is a momentous occasion in my life, I believe that I'm 'expected' to write a blog on it. However, truth be said, I'm not certain I know what the bejeesus to say. So we'll start with the basics and work our way up. This unfortunately means I can't throw any surprise twists in the end, atleast 2 'hohums' will popup and that you'll remember some urgent work you had and leave me, when in reality all you want to do is go stare at your own bellybutton fluff wondering how it accumulates there.

Har. The word 'bellybutton' always cracks me up.

Anyway, the deal's this. I just got salary-ed.

On cue now, 1... 2... 3... Weehoo! Congrats! Fabulous! Party! No, none of that? Atleast a nice pat on the back? [Thunk] Ouch. Ok, guess I deserved that. Better than a GPL, surely. C'mon, the least you can do is act like my friend and expect me to spend some on you! No, not even that? Ah, suckers. Who needs your fake love anyway? Mutter mutter...

So now I've got money to spend. I will never again have to ask anybody else for cash again [Hopefully. Really really really hope so] And the gifts (read: family handouts) are already piling up. First there's Ajji who's making me make an offering to God to whom I should be thankful to and all that (Sheesh. What would God do with my money?) Then 'butofcourse' I've got to buy 'gifts' for the folks, and then there's the loan on the laptop that I've got to clear, and the treats promised to buddies, and the gift I'd promised V_ a long, long time ago, and I owe some cash to buddies I'd borrowed from back in college and...

Suddenly, I'm not feeling so great about the money anymore :(
After all the above is done, I'm left with nothing to spend on myself. Bawl!

Sniff. Damn this software engineering nonsense. Somebody pass me a beer. And yeah, I'll pay you for it next month; once the salary comes in.

You know how it sucks when we write stuff about how our day went and what nail polish we wore and yada yada yada...? Well, here's someone who does it well.


And while we're at it, check out a blog that she recommends-


And yeah, don't read the comments.

Wotrashi -1

[Part of this 'poem' came after a session with Vij'n'Bhush in April.
Played in Em, G, C, D. Mild prog on the starred (*) lines.]

I'm just spelling a joke that ain't funny anymore
I can't help it
I might be just paranoid
*Or something else

And when I saw you laughing
I wondered who was funny
Not me, couldn't be, so what'd you see
Or were you just laughing back at me?

Was it a clown
Who'd amuse himself and laugh back at the world,
Who're not sure what the story was anyway
*Which would be the clown staring back at them, oh the irony (the irony, the irony)

Because nothing's as it seems,
And this nothing is all I've got to show to you
You lousy rat, but hey, I'd rather you call my bluff
Than be a patronizing fool

I won't call yours
I won't even question why it was so
I'll fall in line, because, you see...
* (Em run.) Everything's a 'nothing'

I'm just spelling a joke that ain't funny anymore
And the irony of it all
Is that I'll have the last laugh
Comprende, ~Senor?

[Solo to fadeout]

PS- If you're curious, 'Wotrashi' is konkani for 'A mixture of things unrelated, in chaotic order, and which don't even have a specific reason for existing'. I don't know if there's an English word/phrase for it]

August 08, 2005

Happy Birthday, Laura Castelino!

Exactly a year and three days ago, Laura Castelino posted what has become one of my alltime favourite posts. And today's her birthday. Weehoo! Everyone head over to the The Agony Aunt's blog, and wish her a happy birthday, wouldya?

Happy Birthday, Law. Fatty fatty bombalaty, or whatever's the appropriate greeting in your tribe :D

August 07, 2005

Wow. Yesterday turned out to be a brilliant day after all.

Met S_ after many months, and loved it. Almost felt like a kid again, bringing alive memories of a grubby little second year in his room knocking glasses and toasting the Gods that made a friendship like ours. (And yeah, a smoke or two :) )

Strange how meeting him is making me miss him all the more.

I feel a little weepy when he left. I wish the best for you buddy, and hopefully you'll pay for the booze next time. Happy friendship day, you fat bastard.

"What shall we use to fill the empty
Spaces where we used to talk
How shall I fill the final places
How shall I complete the wall"

Pink Floyd

USA Hai, Hai... Hi there?

In big, capital letters, on a wall next to Mekhri Circle are the words "DOWN WITH USA". And my 15 year old cousin who's come down from the US, he looks at it, and he says "Man, that's cool" (This is inclusive of the horrid caucasian accent he's picked up thanks to years of listening to the 'Boston sound') My puzzled look makes him point at the sign and this conversation followed-

Me- Why's that cool?
Him- Because it's cool, that, like, y'know, people here are like, into the American lifestyle and what it's all about, right.
Me- Uh huh. So you're sympathetic to the Indian perspective against 'THE' capitalistic view about a unipolar world and so on?
Him- No no, it ain't like that. It's about how our lives are finally getting together, like, and how everyone's finally going to boogey together.
Me- Huh?
Him- Yeah man, like how those guys who painted that, are like, everybody should get down with the USA, man. Getting down and dirty with it man, that's cool.
Me- Er...
Him- Yeah man, like a global party, or something like that; getting down with it!
Me- Um, K_, I don't think that's what it means. It's not "Get down with USA", it's just "Down with USA".
Him- Yeah, you eendians need more time to get used to the slang, but that's cool man, it's all good. Sooner or later. Hey, you think we can pick up some soda somewhere? Thirsty throat happening, and caffeine helps.

I wonder if he's right. About the change, not the caffeine.

It has always been the prerogative of children and half-wits to point out that the Emperor has no clothes.
But the half-wit remains a half-wit, and the Emperor remains an Emperor.

Neil Gaiman

Maybe I'll adopt the Sandman series as my own holy book(s) (yeah, definitely easier to read). And everytime I read it, I seem to find a quote that's quite apt with something going on in my life, and how to deal with it. Like how NG, when asked to describe the whole series in one line, replies- "The Lord of Dreams learns that one must change or die, and makes his decision." That's a 'Hmmm' moment for you right there.

Must I change or die? Neither. Not yet, atleast.

Weekly log:

Reading- The "Dune" series by Frank Herbert. Have also been promised the 'movie beyond your imagination' adaptation of the book. These Hugo/Nebula winners haven't disappointed yet.
Listening- Assorted Emo-Rock, thanks to the cousin's iPod. Not bad. Also "In loving memory"- Alter Bridge a million times. I crack up like mad everytime the vocalist, during "shed my skin", sounds like Marc Anthony in "You sang to me". Which happens a lot, the poor guy :) (When you saaang to meeee... whnusng2me) Ok, irrelevant info, sorry.
Watching- SinCity, for the gazillionth time. An attempt to pick up JackieBoy's accent.
Photographing- a Black'n'White series of people around the colony. And a confused cow that runs away now everytime I approach it.
Wishlist addition- The complete Farside, after Beatzo's review. Yes, I read the comments there :p
Looking forward to- buying a vehicle. A car or a bike... any suggestions?
Cooking- Pudina Chicken on Saturday. Finger-lickin' Olle!
Thinking of- Getting out of the job. But will wait a little longer for that.

Mememememe... ego explodes. Hell, if I don't, who will?

August 06, 2005

My favourite person in the whole world!

Cousin Sweety... Nice new haircut 'n' all.

August 04, 2005


You made lunch yourself? Not bad. This tastes delicious, what is it? Kinda like chicken, but a hint of, I don't know, turkey? Tell me quick, what is it? I'm curious.

"There's more than one way", she said," to skin a cat, but only one way to save it from curiosity."

And that would be?

"Why, to skin it, kill it, cook it, boil it, eat it, whatever. Because the cat can't stop being a cat, can it?"

And what's your point, madame?

"Um, no point actually. I just wanted to put the image of a skinned, boiled, half eaten cat in your head. Now, quick, finish lunch, and we'll head for the movie."


A 30 second movie

The set- A sheet of water, depth unknown. Extends on all sides until the horizon drops off. An empty sky, save the colour blue, and an unseen sun as a light source, no shadows are thrown anywhere. The actor(s)- Just one woman, falling through the 'sky'; in slow motion, however. A look of fear on the woman's face, which means eyes wide open and arms on both sides. One (female voice) narrator.

Narrator: I Hope I'm Dreaming I Really Hope I'm Dreaming Though I Remember A Plane And The Plane In The Sky And There Were Other People But I'm So Alone Now And Have I Always Been Alone But The Plane Is Gone And There's Nothing Else Nobody Else And I'm Dying I Don't Want To Die But I'm Dying And There's A Rush And I'm Sorry So Sorry Why Don't You Hear Me And I'm Looking Down And It's Rushing Up And I Wish I Could Wake Up And If This Is A Dream I Could Wake But Why Am I Not But I Miss The Kids And S_ And This Isn't Fair So Unfair Why Me God Why Me Unfair And I What Did I Do To Deserve This I...

[5 second pause. This is, of course, in slow motion time, and would probably be a fraction of an instant in reality]

Narrator: But That's Not Fair And I Remember That I Begged Forgiveness And I Made Good On My Promises And Why Me Why Me And I'm Scared So Scared Scared Of Dying And Please Somebody Tell Me This Is A Dream And WAKE UP And I'm Not Waking Up And I Know It's Not a Dream But Still And I Wish I Wouldn't Die And I Want To Live Forever And...
[Frame Freezes. The voice stops. The Woman is barely inches away from the water. And in suspended animation. Forever. Her wish is fulfilled. Scene fades out to the RequiemForADream OST]


"DO...... the stuff... that buys me beer...
RAY..... the guy that sells me beer...
ME...... the guy... who drinks the beer,
FA..... a long way to get beer...
SO...... I'll have another beer...
LA...... I'll have another beer...
TEA..... no thanks, I'm drinking beer...
That will bring us back to... "

(Looks into an empty glass)


Homer Simpson


August 02, 2005

The Maze

I don't know if reading the Sandman has affected my real life, or if it's the other way around. Hmmm, that's silly, I don't know if my real life could affect the way I read.

Or could it?

Anyway, what I'd like to say is, last night I had a dream. Not exactly a dream, more like a memory being brought to life in the realm of dreams, like so many other imaginations do. And I remembered when I was 10, and I'm walking back with a friend, whose voice I've forgotten ages ago, and truly he belongs to that age I've left. Anyway, so we're scribbling things on paper, like little kids would with pencil, and it doesn't bother us that that paper's been recently trampled upon, hell, we're already drawing patterns around the neat footprint that's been left on the paper. And my friend, he decides to draw a maze. One with turns and twists and traps and tricks, one that'll be both fun and frustrating for all who try. So he grabs the paper away, goes to the back of the class, and is furiously working to finish it before class gets over.

So we're heading home now, and there's a little drizzle, and I'm loving the way the water's trickling into my mouth and the way it's tasteless and sweet at the same time (I remember this because I felt it last night in the dream) and he pulls out the badly folded paper from his pocket and shows me the final maze. And it looks impressive, in my eyes atleast, and it's all looped around, with overlapping paths tha can only be traversed in one way, and there're really cool dragons in 2 corners which'll eat you (!) if you take the wrong turn. In my dream, I remember how the lines seemed to be moving, and the dragons were breathing cartoonstyle fire, but this I blame on the dream itself. And I can remember the sheet getting damp but shouting 'wow' again and again. Until it hit me... the maze had no solution.

Which isn't a normal thing, yes, but let's give the friend the benefit of the doubt, shall we? So I ask the boy "how do you win at this thing?" And he says "Win? There's no such thing as winning, Sunil. It's all about reaching an end. And never reaching what we all want to" Yes, I know that sounds a little too weird for a 10 year old to be talking like that, and I remember being quite confused at the time, but R_ was always like that, saying things I never really understood. Sometimes I even thought about whether he liked me because I was humouring him, or whether it was the other way around.

But the maze... so I start arguing with him, saying that it sould have a goal, and that nobody'd want to play it. So he says sure thing, let's give it a goal. Let's say that the point of the maze was to never let it end. To never reach a dead end, and never to stop. So I say, alright so you want to loop the whole thing.

Sure, sound simple. So under the shade of a tree right in front of his house, we sat down with the same chewed up pencil, and figured out a route in the maze that would go down all the paths in the maze, and then start repeating itself. And he said to me, "See? That's how it's done. That's the real challenge, to never let it stop." (Of course, later math discussions on hamiltonians and eulerians would reduce this to boring old numbers, but at the time it felt like pure magic, trust me)

So he went off inside, and I walked all the way back to my place, in the drizzling rain. I'd taken the long route, just to figure out what my friend was talking about. And that fifteen minutes I spent walking back slowly, unlike my usual rush to get back and play videogames. It seemed quite magical, the way he'd made a new game (on purpose? I dunno). And my dream's still going on, I'm seeing a lot of visions of how the guy was always trying to beat the smartasses in our class. And life accelerates in the dream, and I'm seeing the transition from navy blue shorts to khaki pants, and comics to pornmags. And we're sharing secrets in the hall, talking about the mighty fine woman in the Biology class, and cycling past the local temple, and slowly I feel reality flooding me, and I wake up to a sunrise outside my window (somewhat, because the Bangalore sky affords no sunrise anymore).

And I'm wondering if my real life affects my dreams, or if it's the other way around. If my dreams will guide my life, through all the turns it'll throw at me.

Dedicated to the memory of Rahul D., 1984-2003.

Ramble on (Yeah, getting the Led out)

"Y'know, Freud says that when we dream of flying, that we're actually thinking about sex"
"Then what does it mean when we're dreaming about sex?"
"Um... oh... er..."

Again, Gaiman.

43 down, 32 to go. And of course, 10 specials.

The best thing about the books I like is how thoroughly involved I get in it. How the heroes are always dark brooding characters who're usually right... and sometimes wrong. And I'll start noticing normal people on the streets and wonder if the twisted rules the author's created in his world apply to our meaningless lives. Right now I'll stare at the woman sitting beside me and I'll think about her real life, and the dreams she'll have, how Desire will rule her actions till the very end, and whether Delerium would do me a favour and stop bothering her so :)

Yeah, it's this one thing that I'd like to ask every fiction writer I meet.
"Now then, we all know that the best stories are ones that can be believed, that can be empathized with. And the question is simple... do you sometimes start believeing your own stories? That there's a niggling possibility in the back of your head that the yarns you're spinning might be true? And that all you're doing is recollecting/creating these worlds for real?
For example, Mr. Gaiman Sir, do you believe in the Sandman, and are the nightmares he creates real beings?
Mr. Poe, of course there's a raven on a bust of Pallas, causing eternal grief to a depressed old man. But what of Signora Xenophobia; do you believe there exist such demented minds that can fathom death and how it can strip the soul from the vessel of the body?
Yes yes, Mr. Pratchett, I know there must be a world where all the old myths are true, that there's a tired old tortoise who can't wait for a decent backrub. But if magic were true in this world, wouldn't it have fallen to pieces long before, say, episode 10?
C'mon Mr. Salinger, we all know that you tried to create a world as real as possible, and that little boy is simply an extension of your own hidden soul, but really, would the boy be so willing to narrate a story that meant nothing, especially to himself? Or do you believe that some stories just don't end?
Give it up, Mr. Sheldon, we've all read the conspiracies you've rattled off, and we've been enthralled, no doubt, at least the children who don't know any better. But what mind can dream that the world is so riddled with deception and murder?"


[Of course I expect a different answer from each writer. I hardly expect anybody to say "Yes" or "No", of course not. That would be too unpretentious of the writer's kiln now, wouldn't it?]

Freud, you're such a bastard. There were some secrets that were never meant to be spoken aloud. And you didn't even get them all right. Hence, we corrupt, And get corrupted. Sometimes the power of the written word is so underrated, it makes me angry. That the reponsibility that a writer must have to understand that opinions are simply taken seriously, and words are the weapons that can change the world.

It's like how I'm talking to TD the other day, and we're arguing over the concept(s?) of religion and god. And I tell him, look, 'God' was a great idea, and that holy scriptures were an ideal method to spread what are/were considered ideal guidelines to live our lives by. Yet, people seem to have taken them a little too literally and the story is now more important than the moral. And he says that I'm an idiot. It IS the story that was meant to be taken seriously, because belief in the story itself is what gives faith to people, and saves the lives of millions across the world. Which leaves me wondering... what if the man's right? What if there were Gods that walked the earth? What if there wer edays whn we all came under judgment for our sins and actions?

Not too bad, I guess. What bothers me most about the existence of God is that, in my heart I know, that if at all there was a God(s), then now... now he/she has simply given up on us. And freedom from authority was the worst curse God could give to a world full of sinners.

And that prayer is obsolete.

And this is why I don't believe in an allforgiving God.

Damn these books, they simply litter my mind with thoughts that matter to no one but me. In a sense I guess that's acceptable, but I still need a frame of reference to know an absolute truth. And that's that.

Wow, a rambling blog. Long time since that happened. Ciao, all :)

August 01, 2005


Pi wakes up, and looks around.

There's a cat without a grin, and a day without a name. There're seven little guys who're always ready to help, and a bunch of mice who can't help but bumping into people. A chick in glass slippers, and a caterpillar with an attitude. A giant egg who's gone to pieces, and a fox that's forced to eat crow. A poor little leprachaun, and a beggar with the riches of a smile. There's an arachnophobic girl who's putting on too much wheyt, and a sadistic bastard who loves traumatising the opposite sex.


Pi wakes up, looks around.

And she's staring into his face like she's shy, but damned if she's not allowed to make the first move. And her rich scent is overwhelming, so much that it's difficult to concentrate on reality and the dream at the same time. And she's got her hands on his chest, and her lips are dying to be kissed, and she's whispering words that don't make too much sense, but he'd die if she stopped. And he presses the small of her back to hear her moan and knows that it's going to climax...


Pi wakes up, but he refuses to open his eyes.

And he can hear a million words spoken with raspy hatred. And they're all saying the same thing... that he's a liar. That he's betrayed his own destiny by refusing to cooperate. And the abuses are flowing into his head, and he's not sure what they're saying is true, but he's not in a position to argue. But the hate is present, it's grinding his mind, and every attempt to fight it ends the same way... in bursts of laughter not his.


Pi wakes up, and the pain hits him like a bolt of lightning.

And it's red everywhere, and he knows he's in pain, and yet he can think clearly about every next action. And strangely, he seems to will his thoughts into action, and the world molds itself around these thoughts, yet hell is but a place where all that is good is forgotten, and suffering is only the first step of damnation. And it hurts so bad...


Pi wakes up... and wishes he didn't read the Sandman series before he went to sleep. Too much imagery. But what a ride!

Thank you, Mr. Gaiman sir.