"'Truth is strange," you know, "stranger than fiction' - besides being more to the point" - Edgar Allan Poe

July 20, 2005

The office - 3

Last Friday started out as any other, with derelicte(?) software engineers shuffling into the office, looking forward to the weekend. I too, am passing away time in my little corner table (we can't afford cubicle walls) orkutting the bear when the sixfooter S_ walks past me.

Now S_, like myself, is also from Manipal. Unlike me, however, he's the moodiest bastard I've seen this side of the Irawaty (Et tu, Mukka?). And for some reason he removes his shoes and socks everytime he goes into the bathroom (eww...). He also gossips about the alleged liason between myself and the OB (refer the office -1) and has a cellphone the size of timbuktoo.

And when the clock strikes 11, you know he's hitting the bathroom.

So on schedule, the man removes shoes and all that, walk in, background soundtrack of flush, he walks out... and his shoes are missing.

[The next few minutes are censored. Or wait, let's not and see what actually happened]

Kreeeeeaaaaaaagggghhh!!!

Sonofafuckinmotherfuckinshitshitdadblastmutherterichutrassmachapa^$&^(*^)&*!@!@&^
[Feeling: Angry.
Listening to: I hate you, Slayer]
Fuck the fucker who took my shoes! I'll kill him! Or her! (stares at office bitch) Or any of you who got together to do this! What the fuck is wrong with this world? Isn't there a shred of decency left in this country?

[Mood change to: Whiny, Sad
Listening to: Staind]
Look guys, those shoes were really personal to me. I live in them day in day out. My sister bought those for me from the US. I don't even have a spare right now. Why, why me?!

[At this point on he starts walking around from room to room, searching every nook and corner, asking, nay begging somebody to tell him where his damn shoes are. I'll cut out a lot of details here, but let's just say it's hilarious to see a barefoot sixfooter running (yes, really running!) in that tiny office from room to room]

At this point of the story, I'd like to mention a tiny detail I must've forgotten to tell you about before.

I took his shoes.

Worse, I was actually wearing them.

Hahahahaha...

So I go up to the man and ask him in my most serious concerned tone, "Dude, can I help?"... while I'm still wearing his shoes!!! And I actually walk around with the man... in his shoes!!! And nobody's getting it!
I do tell a couple of friends of his, and they crack up laughing, thankfully not spilling the beans.

And an hour later, when he goes up to another floor to check there, I quietly put the shoes back and get back to work.

Life's good, only if you do something about it, and stop complaining that it's getting boring.

3 Comments:

citrus said...

fucking awesome! :)


er, yuck, you actually wore his shoes? [worth the entertainment though]

Saturday Night Takeout said...

New reeboks. Couldn't be more than a month old.

The Agony Aunt said...

lol hope he doesn't have violent tendencies, if he does, good luck when he finds out.

going to a public bathroom minus the footware is kinda gross (ignoring mental picture)